Almost Did Not Make It, Spring Vanished, Winter has appeared again.

The other day the sun was shining,

it felt like Spring and I felt like soon the flowers would be blooming.

Yesterday we got hit hard by a snowstorm.

Yes Winter is Back.

I had my Emotional Eating Group last night.

It was the last class and I was a little sad that it was coming to an end.

I called a Taxi at 5 oclock, and it did not arrive until 6 o'clock

because of the roads and they were so behind.

So I was late to the class, but I made it.

I had a lovely talk with the Taxi driver too.

He was from Aftrica  and had lived in Italy

and now here.

He said he loved Canada,

but not the snow, and not the drivers

when it is snowing.

We actually were almost hit by another vehicle.

I know there was lots of accidents yesterday.

I was grateful I made it to the meeting

and wished him a safe evening.

........

The class went well and we just strategized

how to continue on

to be successful on our individual journeys.

How to stay on track, etc.

It is surprising how close some of us

had become, and we plan to continue

to get together on our own.

It was a very positive experience,

and one of the best things I have ever done for me.

I am glad I finally had the courage to do this

and to admit that I needed some help

with the Emotional Eating.

I would highly reccomend  this type of forum

for others if  they had the opportunity.

Must go for now and make some

breakfast.

.......

my sisters boys are coming to stay

with us for five days,

I am so excited,

they arrive tomorrow.

Have a great weekend.

I hope you have your

Very Best Days!

Cinner

Just Sailing Along.

Hi Everyone,

Life is Sailing along at a fast pace around here.

I have been busy with appointments,

meetings and life, as well as getting enough sleep

for someone whom has Cataplexy.

Some days there are just not enough hours for me.

I am reminded that everyone has the same 24 hours in a

day to deal with and am amazed at people like

Mother Theresa whom made the most of every day

and look at all she accomplished.

There are many others like her.

I have been making progress towards my goal.

I am down 20 pounds for the year.

I am getting out of the house more,

I have made some new friends,

I went out all by myself this past week.

I am trying to get over the fear of falling,

or the fear of what ifs with my illness.

It was a major step for me to take a cab

yesterday. I had my paper in my pocket

explaining my illness and I am going to get

a medic bracelet. It was the first time

without any family around me,

so I have to admit that safe feeling

was not there, but I have to face my fears.

I think that is the only way I can grow as a person.

We had more snow this week,

it was kind of nice to have things

looking white again,

reminding me how lucky

I am to live in a region

where I get to experience all the seasons.

I have a new neighbor next door to us

and bless his heart but he shoveled the walk

this morning. I would have done it myself later,

I thanked him and what he did in five minutes

would have taken me at least a half hour.

So that was a nice way to start the day.

I hope you are all doing great

and I wish you all a very

Happy Weekend.

Until next time,

Cinner

pic by Kelsey H

Scary Jarry and the Scale Debate!

Hi Everyone,

Here is a picture of a BlueJay

that visits me every year.

He has nothing to do with my post,

other than he annoys me sometimes

with his demand for peanuts.

I call him Scary Jarry

because he will actually dive bomb me

if I don't have any out for him.

So when Scary Jarry and the other 3 show up

they screech and screech until I put out the peanuts.

I love that they come to my yard for a visit

and only Scary Jarry has eaten out of my hand.

..............

Anyway back to my meeting.

Weigh In Time

I went in feeling like I must be down another

ten pounds.

I felt that good, clothes have been fitting bigger,

I have been eating so healthy, making good choices

and the scale was down 1.5 pounds,

Now I know down is still good,

but I just felt annoyed that it was not more.

So in the meeting we are asked how we are feeling,

and I say "Well I came in here feeling Whoo Hoooo

and now because of the Scale

I am feeling dissapointed,

I continued to say Logic tells me I am still doing good

but I hate the scale, I hate getting on it and having

the numbers on it break or make my day. I then told them my husband has

hidden mine in the house because I become so obsessive about it.

To the point I get on it, I gasp, it must be wrong,

I get off it, then I tip toe back on it, what up another pound,

so then I go for round three, same as the first,

For the Love of God.....lol

..........

So what does the instructor say,

Fabulous topic for tonight.

I left the meeting at the end

knowing that it is just an indication as to whether we are doing good or not,

that by me stepping on the scale and not being happy about it,

that I slipped right into sabatoge mode,

The all or nothing, ready to throw the towel in,

not taking into account how good I was feeling,

that I have exercised more,

that clothes were fitting better,

that I could walk further and that this week

I did not have to use my cane.

Also we were informed about stress,

that sometimes that can make you not lose as

fast as you want,

I said I have nothing to be stressed about,

and was told does not mean you are not,

Well by the time I left the meeting,

I realized I am stressed,

that I find it very hard to be at home

most of the time due to my illness,

I joked that I better not step on the scale on the

way out because I had probably just put on ten pounds.

One of the ladies did get on the scale and she

had put on 2 pounds, she just laughed.

I said I don't dare get on it or I will be headed for

McDonalds.

..................

The good news is is that I am sticking to my

program, I have not thrown in the towel,

I have not turned to bread for comfort,

I have walked more on my treadmill over

the weekend than I have in a long time,

and I have been drinking more water.

Thanks for all the comments that have helped

me with that.

................

Do you have an issue with the scale making

or breaking your day.

I would love to hear your comments on it.

Have a great week everyone,

Until next time,

Cinner

I Will sit in a corner, and just suck my thumb, omg

The last few days have been flying by.

I have to say I feel like my head has been through a bug zapper.

No not that bad.....

This was a conversation I had with a receptionist....

ME...Hi it is Cinner ---- I was wondering if Dr..SO and So is in on Tuesday.

HER; let me look, who is your doctor, what is my name.

ME; Tell her my Dr. So and So, tell and spell my name.

HER; yes he is in that day,, what time would you like.

Me; Is one and one fifteen available?

Her: Yes, okay just give me a minute.

ME; no problem,

HER. Okay I have you booked for Tuesday morning,

ME, no I need the one and one fifteen appointment please.

HER, okay I have you in for one and one fifteen.

ME. Perfect, I will see you on Tuesday, Thank you.

HER, Thank you, see you then.....

........

okay so not too bad right,

Saturday morning I get a phone call asking me why I had double booked

our appointments. I explained it had been a mistake made by the other lady

I had talked to, I explained that I only needed the one oclock and the one fifteen,

HER;;;oh oh okay, well I will cancel the 9  ad 9 fifteen, can you hold please.

Me; no problem.

HER. Okay so we will see you Tuesday at one and one fifteen 

with Dr. XYZ.

ME,. My appointment was supposed to be with my

family doctor So and So.

.....

are you ready for this?

HER. Your doctor is not in on Tuesday.

By all that is holy I have no idea how I did not come unglued at the seams.

I said, I was told he would be in and I need to see him before

my surgeries that are supposed to be at the end of the month.

HER...oh well then you will need to book a preop appointment

and that will be longer.

I said okay when is my Doctor in,

well he is in but not until the 13th.

Okay I will book the appointment.

HER; What is your number on the form,

ME; What form?

HER..Your preop form.

I don't have the form, My doctor had asked me to call

and see him about my visit to the surgeons office.

.................

HER, I am sorry you can only see your

doctor for one thing at a time.

ME, 100, 99, 98, 97......1, then I proceed to say

Please just put me down for followup..

HER...Oh yeah that will work,

ME, Great that will be good,

HER. What was your name again?

I can not even tell you what was going through 

my head at this point,

I can not even type it because

I think my computer

would blow up

...................

Now I know I have been trying really really hard,

I snorfed down 2 pieces of rhubarb pie before

I could even think about it....

but then I refrained from eating the whole pie.

I was just feeling so frustrated,

obviously an emotional eater.

But good thinks come to those who wait,

the next morning I had a phone call from the hospital

and everything just fell into place like it should.

Surgery is booked,

In two weeks I should be good as new.

One catch.

I still have to go see my Doctor

next Monday,

and I can't remember the time,

I kid you not.

I think I will get my Hubby to check.

It was so ridiculous we did have a good laugh

when I was telling him about it,

sorry this was so long winded,

I needed to get this off

my chest.

Take care and thank you all for your 

kind comments on my last post.

Until next time,

Cinner

Setting Attainable Goals. Not a Cher or a Raquel

Hey there friends,

Today I found a weight loss journal plan,

lets face it there are bound to be a few in a box.

I was about twenty, so 28 years ago.

Well I opened the pages of this journal,

and it was a laugh and a half,

more so because of me looking at it now.

On page one was a picture of Raquel Welsh,

with notes written underneath,

I want to look just like her.

I would love to have her long legs and sexy body.

She is perfect.

On the next page was Cher,

well once again I wanted her long legs,

and her eyes, and her clothes.....

So my point is this we have too make reachable attainable goals.

both of the ladies are close to six feet.

I am five feet two on a good day,

I know even with stilletos that these legs would look short,

and besides I would not be able to walk.

As for Chers bone structure and deep set eyes,

well plastic surgery is not in my plans...

So I asked myself today okay Cinner

if you could look like anyone who would you want to be.

And I am being 100 % honest.

There is no one that I want to look like,

there are some interesting character traits

I may want or aim for, but no I am me and happy with being so.

I just want a slimmer, healthier version.

You know I loved Phyllis Diller, She could make me laugh and laugh.

I remember watching her on a show where she took off her wig

and showed what she really looked like, she was so beautiful and in her comfort zone.

I have never forgotten that.

.........

I bought a new pedometer this week,

and a new journal and doing exercises for my back.

I walked on my treadmill today and well here it is almost Spring time.

In a few more days I want to start walking outside again,

even if I have to track down Stanley to do so.

Stanley is my cane for those of you who don't know.

So that is my plan for the week, hubby is back to work after a week off.

Maybe I will be able to get some work done.

Have a great week all.

Take care.

Stop Bullying the Cat

well winter is still here, although the days are starting to get warmer.

My husband was off yesterday and we went for a nice long walk,

well a long walk in my terms, and then he took the dog for a run.

When you have an illness you have to work within those limitations,

gradually improving  little by little until suddenly you notice a change in lifestyle.

today I am getting ready for the wedding on the weekend.

My sister is so excited, she is going to be so beautiful.

I will be taking pictures for sure, actually I am doing the wedding photos.

Hubby will be helping if My Cataplexy slows me down at all that day.

So as family is gathering I may not be around for a bit.

Lots to do, lots of laughs ahead.

..................

I wish all of you that are undergoing tests the very best possible outcomes.

...............

My dog is turning into a big bully, chasing the cat,

I swear wants to have her for lunch.

they both need to get outside.

........we are all feeling a little housebound.

I am going to exercise, I need to refocus, and continue

on. I hope you have a great day, Stay Strong!

Here I Go Again!

Sorry it has been a few days since I have written a post,

Here it is Spring, that wonderful Spring,

where the world comes alive, breaks out into colors,

spirits are lifted,  new hope, new goals, excitement for life returns.

So I drew this pic on the computer and then went into picknic to finish it up.

...........

So here in our neck of the woods even with Spring arriving on the 21st,

we have 4 or 5 days of fore casted snow

So it still looks like a winter wonderland.

What's a gal to do just go with the flow.

..................

Monday morning started out with an enhanced CT Scan.

I go later today to get the results, which I already know from the Ultrasound,

but apparently they can get a clearer picture so will be able to tell me more

as to what will be done when I have my surgery. I hope they book it soon!

..................

I got on my scale over the weekend,

and it seems to be a practice I need to implement back into my life.

I have decided not to weigh myself until after this surgery, 

as the hernia and cysts or tumor are causing all kinds of problems,

swelling, and thank Goodness for Gingerale,

the burps that have been errupting around this house

can wake my husband from a dead sleep.

and all I can say is Excuse me and I am sorry.

That is probably more info than you needed to know.

So I am glad that I will find out more today 

from my family doctor and then will probably just wait until I have 

Surgery. My hope is that once this is done I will be feeling

much better and the weight loss will get easier for me.

Amongst all of this, I got a call for a pre assessment

for either Gastric Bypass or Lap band Surgery.

I still am not sure if this is an option for me

or if I will be able to have it done or will have to wait.

I did book the pre assessment as I have been on a list for over two years,

and I figure I should go and talk to them, it is not until May.

So things seem kind of up in the air right now,

may be the reason for not posting as often.

.............

All I know for sure

is to Live Today, enjoy every moment,

cherish each second, do your best today so that Tomorrow gets easier,

Eat Healthy, Exercise, Be Positive,

and above all else

Love Yourself.

Have your Very Best Day!

..............

I Got to find my Healthy!

Today some beautiful roses to share

as a way of Saying Thank you for all your kindness and Best Wishes for the New Year.

..............

One thing I want to talk about is warning signs.

We may run into them head on, or they may slowly creep up on us.

make you pause in your tracks,

We can face them or hide from them,

but they are there no matter whether we choose to face them or not..

...................

About eight years ago my Dad had a five artery bypass.

He pulled through it, and then started walking,

He did it almost every day, I remember thinking how wonderful he was doing.

We all did, and then one day he was in a car accident(not his fault)

He had broken ribs etc....after Dad healed he never kept up with his 

walking, of course he was busy on the farm, telling us all

he felt great, maybe a little tired,etc.

I often wonder what would have happened if he had kept walking.

It will be two years ago in May that Dad has passed away.

He believed he was Healthy.

he just was not healthy enough.

The other day I read a post on Anns blog

about her friend and it really made me think.

.............

I have not been in control of my weight loss

and just because I have lost a few pound

does not make me healthy.

I am still morbidly obese.

and even though all my numbers come back good.

It just is not good enough.

...............

So I am in control of what I eat,

how often I eat, where I eat.

I am in control of making better choices,

I am in control of seeing to it that I drink enough water,

I am in control of taking my medications on time,

I am in control of walking on my treadmill.

I am in control enough to know it should be a perscription

that I have to follow, and use  as diligently as I take my medications.

I refocus on my goals. I choose to live a better life,

I control that for right now this is the most important

thing that I can do for myself, so I can get around easier,

breathe better, better circulation, more energy, more stamina,

more choices.

So A New Year, A New Day,

and I try again, again,

This is my Year to Get It Right

...........

We can do this together,

I am getting my journal out and recording everything,

food, water, exercise, mood, why I eat, etc.

I hope you come along for the ride,

oh and the treadmill

has been named by Patrick.

Mr. Giddy Up,

because Lord knows,

I just have to Giddy Up and Go.

So Thank you Patrick for your help,

I was pulling a blank on this one.

.................

So if we can all just do one thing today to help ourselves,

is to start the new year by moving..

I hope you Have Your Very Best Day!

Helping Hands!

Sometimes we really need a hand,

to stay on track, for encouragement,

for a slap on the back, to be given a push,

to be helped  when we are  down,

sometimes to point a finger,

and say come on what gives.

to help us back up when we fall.

And sometimes those hands can be raised in the air,

questioning your choices

with the best intentions in minds.

The hands above are a picture of hard working hands

that stick to their course every day,

They are dedicated hands,

and they make me want to succeed.

Everything in life takes hard work,

commitment, dedication, and keeping your goals in the forefront

every day.

.............

Thank you to everyone that left me comments,

I am sorry I did not respond to them individually

like I like too, but I appreciate them all.

Have Your Best Day Ever

Cinner

Such good little Gaffers!

Remember the days of he loves me, he loves me not,

well now it has become,

I choose to eat good today, I will continue to eat good today,

every once in  a while I throw in a I don't give a hoot today attitude,

But quickly I get back on track,

My two nephews are staying with me,

these two guys are like my own kids,

Sometimes they even slip and call me Mom,

My sister and I are so much alike,

Anyway they are here helping me,

They put in some cement blocks today.

what they did in a couple of hours would have taken me the rest of the summer.

They have no idea how grateful I am that they are here.

the younger fellow is all about eating healthy right now,

so he is keeping me on my toes,

the other fellow will eat me out of house and home,

and never put on a pound.

They made me laugh today.

At about five o/clock they both asked me if I was okay,

I said sure why,

Well you look tired they said,

I said to them that yes I had gotten tired watching them work so fast.

They love that, testosterone was filling the air,

well they are men and they can do anything, and it would be easier for me

if I was younger! and they really don't mind helping an old lady in her fourties,

What they don't know is in the morning when I wake up,

this old lady feels about 30 for at least a couple hours,

so I can get into lots of fun stuff with them.

On the weekend I am going to get my husband to take the younger one out,

He wants a basketball, they both said that they are not allowed to take money

from family, that family helps each other, but he did not think there would be any

harm in getting a basketball.

Funny how there minds work, and well you know

I think they know they have me wrapped right around there little fingers.

I hope you are all well.

Take care,

Community Gardens and Training Wheels.

 

This is one of the Community Gardens 

That we drove by when we were in Vancouver.

It is right downtown,

very well taken care of,

what surprised me was that nobody had seemed to do any type of damage.

I wonder if they get raided in the summer for the food to eat.

....................

This year I have decided to have a few big pots so I can always have fresh lettuce,

green onions, maybe some herbs, tomatoes, pole beans.

Then I am going to eat salad every day,

I have banished all breads from my house,

I will be getting on my bike tomorrow.

Wish me luck, I hope I can keep it standing,

Last year every time I  would get going at all,

I would have a cataplexy spell and fall off,

I have a Helmut, seeing how it goes I might have to put training wheels on it.

Last year my hubby wanted me to get one of those tricycles.

I was just not ready yet.

I have had to use a wheelchair to get around a bit lately,

But I am not ready to admit defeat.

I am not a quitter.

Wish me luck.

Have a great weekend.

My new motto is to Get Active.

Culinary Goddess I Am Not!

I am a --- when it comes to cooking,

and I am not  kidding around.

My hamburger soup that I mentioned the other day,

the one that smelled heavenly while cooking,

and tasted scrumptious while eating,

even a compliment from my husband.

I just told him I used some of the spices I had gotten for Christmas!

............

And then sadly to say the next time I opened my mouth,

I belched like a farm animal,

I said I did not know I was going to do that,

And he went to say something,,

And he belched like a farm animal too!

...........

And then he started to laugh,

and what the heck had I put in the soup,

a man can't even come home from work without his wife trying to kill him,

I told him at least the house smelt good,

He said it would not matter if he died from my cooking!

And we laughed again.

..............

I read some of the blogs,

and they can cook like no tomorrow.

And everyone tries there recipes,

and everything tastes wonderful.

..............

I, Cinner being of somewhat sound mind and body

do promise I will not put any recipes on my blog,

as I don't have two pennies to rub together for a lawsuit,

and I have to admit some misfortune may occur!

............

As my word for the year is embrace.

I am embracing the truth that I am and never will be a Culinary Goddess!

.............

The above picture is from one of the Vintage Graphics Or Background Graphics.

I can't remember for sure.

...............

Please note nobody was injured,

but are being very cautious near the kitchen.

......

Embrace the fun in your day,

In whatever way it comes!

My husband is cooking tonight.

A girl has to do what a girl has to do.

Two Doors Down!

 

Two Doors Down, they are laughing and singing and having a party....

For some strange reason I have that song playing around in my mind listening to Dolly Parton.!

Maybe it is my Inner Goddess trying to get out., thats what I am going with anyway!

Although I have to say that my girls have not faced any direction close to her girls in the last twenty years!

Sorry, that is probably more information than any of you need to know or want to.

Anyway back to the doors, we have all opened and closed them throughout our lives.

I have rethought my New Years Resolution knowing that if I continue to do what I have done every year, I may be setting myself up to fail. After reading through a bunch of blogs I have decided to pick one word that I can apply to 2010, and the word I have chosen is EMBRACE!

I am going to embrace my life and apply that word as much as I can in 2010.

The two doors are representative of my Life inside my house and my life outside of it.

Inside my house is where I feel safe, I don't have to worry about falling because of my Cataplexy.

For health reasons I have to sleep alot, and when I am not sleeping I try to do what I can.

I will never be that person I was before my illness as far as my physical abilities,

but I want  to embrace everything and everyone on both sides of the door as best as I can.

It is hard for me to explain!

There is another purpose for those doors.

On the one there is a number and that is where I want to be at the end of 2010.

How is that for a coincidence!

..........

Now for some exciting news, Next week I will be having a Giveaway on my main blog

at Things about Who, what , where, when and why, so you may want to keep an eye open for that.

Also to find out more about choosing One word, please see my other post from today at the other blog.

The idea was thought up by Dani. She is one of the lovely ladies from Lens Us Together that I have met.

We have a theme and we choose a photo every week. I have really enjoyed it and I told them I was not a real photographer, but they embraced me with open arms.

...........

So my last post for this year is to tell you how thankful I am that you have followed my blog and have given me support and understanding. Some of you have told me that I inspire you. In actuality you are my inspirations.

So I embrace you and wish you all the best in the upcoming year.!

Preparing My New Year Resolutions!

Sometimes I think Where Do I start With This List, and how many Pages should it Be!

I like who I am, I just want to feel healthier and since this blog is about my Weight Issues

well I am going to be Serious. I could tell you that I have made lists every year since I can remember.

And I do achieve my lists, however for a certain period of time.

I have the tendancy to stray after about 3 weeks.

So the good thing is I know this, and they say it takes 3 weeks to change a habit.

So I must sabatoge myself just when  I am about to beat it.

Sounds a little crazy to me, but I am being honest....

so I am reminding myself why I need this so much.

My List Begins!

...........

This past year my Dad died of heart disease, I do not want to go through what I saw him go through at the end of his life, Also Diabetes seems to run rampant in our family on both sides of the family. so there is another negative against me. I have sleep apnea. I have been diagnosed with Severe Cataplexy. The medications make me feel very sluggish, exhausted and have become limited as to my physical activities.

So having said all this, 

  This Is My List

Keep a Journal of the food I am Eating.

Drink at least 8 glasses of water

Stick to a Schedule Because of My Cataplexy

Do Tai Chi every Morning

Walk my Dogs every day increasing distance weekly, walk each dog separately once a day!

..............

My Goal
To have more Energy,

To ride my New Bicycle by Spring

To Be more Flexible!

.............

If  I can accomplish the above

The weight will fall off!

So that is my plan!

..........

I would love to hear your New Years Resolutions,

And Remember Success is Possible because of Past Failures!

Just like we would not appreciate Spring if we did not have the Winter!

That Is It!

 

Hello Everyone,

I am sure I am not alone when I say I overate at Christmas!

How much did I overeat?

Let me put it this way,

My fridge has locked the door  from the inside!

My fruit and vegetables are crying in the drawer as they are feeling neglected!

All the dainties and deserts that entered this house did not stand a chance!

And the sad thing is this, I was trying to be good!

I guess the great thing is this.....

I being of somewhat sound mind do believe I will never eat another desert....

At least this year anyway!

January 1 I am starting back on my Weightwise program!

I am getting back on the wagon so to speak.

I want to feel good by Spring,

at least have a Spring in my step!

How did you do over the holidays!

Hopefully you did better than I!

I would love to hear your story!

...........

No fruits or vegetables were injured in my story!

But as a friend of mine said, we can always start over!

And that is the truth of it.

Heres to New Beginnings!

Appreciation!

Hello from Canada!

I am happy to report the snow keeps coming,

and the weather has warmed up.

There is a good chance we will be getting those great big fluffy snowflakes for Christmas,

My Favorite Day, my Favorite Holiday,

even all my favorite foods.

Since My Mom was here the lifestyle change has kicked into low gear,

I am looking forward to the New Year to really get back on track.

I am continuing to use the exercise ball, and wish I could tell you I was having a Ball,

but the ball is getting the best of me, but I am working on my balance..

So all is good.

........

I  want to thank everyone who has supported and encouraged me this past year.

Today I would also like to wish you a  Happy holiday Season, I wish

nothing but the best for you, and pray for a New Year

of

Health, love, happiness and Prosperity!

...........

Note to Self, maybe this will be my last year that I could play Santa!

Next year I could be sporting a New Girlish Figure...

Well then I better stop eating all these deserts....note to Self

Quit talking to yourself...............

I Give To You A Rose!

 

The flowers are for you lovely followers,

I am thrilled every time you leave me a comment,

or when I read your blogs and are inspired!

When I started this blog I really had not given it a thought,

I had started following a lovely lady named Anne,

she had lost I believe over 50 pounds.

Since I became ill a few years ago,

my physical activities are so limited,

that I gained quite a bit of weight,

and taking it off has been a very slow battle for me!

I have been working with the exercise ball,

and the other night my husband

being the sport fanatic, decides he is going to show me some exercises to do!

Well the next thing he was laying on the floor with his feet in the air,

his face was as red as could be and I said,

That was wonderful, can you show me again!

We laughed till we hurt!

Later in the evening he comes with a tennis ball and says,

You need to lay on your back and put this under your back

and move it around with your spine.

I am trying to restrengthen the muscles in my back and legs...

So the battle seems slow, but I am like the tortoise and the hare.

One day I will get to where I want to be.

So thank you once again for all your support and encouragement!

I am A Wingnut!

I can not believe the fabulous weather that we are having here.

One would really think that it were summer.

So fabulous for us in November in Canada.

So I am so enjoying the sun beaming in through my windows.

I was outside for a couple of hours this morning

And I feel good!

...............

I have been a little down in the dumps lately due to personal reasons

and I have to be honest, the emotional eater was back this weekend.

When I started this blog, I thought I would stay on track everyday.

That I would be accountable to you as well as I.

In theory that is a grand idea, and it should work.

But like I said I was misbehaving on the weekend.

So............as the nurse said in weightwise, if you fall off, get back on, and well

Saddle up I did again this morning. I got out my journal book, made up my meals for the day,

and I am drinking my water,

and I am walking my little dog!

.................

If I can accomplish anything else in my life, why is this so difficult for me to stay on track.

I read not so long ago that if you set out to achieve something, it takes consistant work,

so today I put up little sticky notes on my fridge, on my computer, on the cookie jar,

and should have one on my forhead! lol

I can't beat myself up about this, just go on and keep trying.

...................

One thing I have realized is that I am a fixer,

fix this, fix that,

And now I feel helpless that I can't fix things in my family,

I can't bring back my Dad,

I can't stop my Mom from being lonely,

I can't stop how I sometimes feel!

......

So I can only control what I can!

So do I sound like a wingnut today or what!

And somehow through all these feelings,

I am going to have a good day!

...............

p.s. The wingnut status just means I am human.!

Feeling Better!

Some Poppies from my Garden last summer in Honor of Remembrance Day.

I can grow flowers, but I have to be honest.

I am not a gardener!

I think I have somehow jinxed myself, in a weird way,

as to never grow a good vegetable or tasty fruit.

And since my lifestyle change I am actually starting to crave them.

I know there will be some of you out there that are shocked! And I know who you Are!

So my goal for the winter is to read up on growing them as I love them right out of the garden.

So if you have any hints for me, I would love them.....

In the meantime I am off to McDonalds for a lowfat McFlurry!

Kidding it is too cold here....oh my see how quickly I can revert to old patterns.

I hope you are all well and thanks for your support.

Oh I am feeling much better and thanks for all your kind words.

They helped just as much as Chicken Noodle Soup!

Weight Wise Program!

Well hello everyone, I am so excited about my new program through our Weight wise program, The information I recieved was really helpful. There was about 25 of us there and the nurse that was running a lecture she was an absolute dream What I really liked about her was that she was so realistic about things, and the best advice is journalling, we must write everything we eat into a journal, and weigh our selfves once a week because it keeps us accountable, so I will be back to that, and When we eat how are we feeling, what triggered us to eat. how we felt after this. Also how we were feeling before exercising and after. Then she had us look at our barriers. So myself my main energy is in the morning, so sitting reading a book in the morning is not going to make me get to my goals. BUT  if I do them in the morning then eventually it will become a habbit. So that is step One. At the end of this program the outlook for alot of people is the lapband surgeries, gastric bypass or what is called a sleeve. This is not an option for me as I really want to do what I can for myself. The nurse did say they are only there to act a s a crutch and not always do they work.

What I found interesting is that what I start to do in the morning that is for the rest of my life. She said it is considered a Chronic condition, and even if you lose your one hundred pounds that there is no way that we can go back to our old ways. I posted the picture of the lightbulb, because this is really not rocket science, It is hard and will be hard! That light is also to remind us of brighter and better days ahead. No more darkness here for me. As far as the weight loss for the last 3 months, did great, faded, faded, but that is okay, its not about yesterday or the past 36 years. Its bout tomorrow and what I can do that day. I hope you choose to come on this trip with me. I am so excited about it.!