Don't Believe Everything You Think.

via pinterest

One of the things I have really been focusing

on lately is positive versus negative thinking.

Now I think I am a pretty positive person

about life, about myself.

I believe in living your best days etc.

But when I really get down to things,

some of my distortive thinking

has been that I am broken

since I got my illness,

just that I am not capable of doing what I used to.

Another one has been my not being able to

have children, that somehow I was not

whole, I was broken.

I realize that when one has these thoughts,

that it is going to impact everything.

I think one can only hide behind their strength

for so long, and sooner or later you have

to deal with the so called crap in our lives.

When one has an invisible illness,

you encounter all kinds of doubt,

unfortunately a lot of people

believe your overweight,

nothing wrong with her, she is just fat and lazy.....

So there are a few of my distorted thoughts.

so I have learned this.

SO WHAT.

Example if I think someone thinks that I am fat and lazy,

that is my perception. I am not a mind reader,

and if they really do think that,

I have a choice to let that effect me or not..

So if someone thinks it or glances at you wrong,

We can go from zero to 360 about rudenes,

bottom line is So What, does their opinion matter,

The validation does not need to come from someone

else, because we have to believe in ourselves.

I am losing this weight for me,

for me, for nobody else,

I don't need to be told I look okay,

I need to know that within myself.

So out with any negative,

too much time and energy

is wasted on the what ifs

in life.

I like me and I am learning to

love me.

I keep hearing from the movie help

You is kind,

You is beautiful,

you is important.

On Monday I had three appointments

and all are very happy with my progress

in one month is seventeen pounds lost,

more energy, keeping goals,

more confidence, changed how I am eating,

I am controlling the food, the food no longer

controls me...

I am off to a good start.

I hope you all have a Very Good Day!

Until next time,

Cinner

I Am Back this time to stay!

Hi Everyone, I am back feeling better than I have in a long time. I have missed my Weight Loss Blog. I have recently found what really works for me. I am so excited about the days ahead of me. I have realized that I am an Emotional Eater. It is an ongoing battle not to revert to old ways. I am in control of what I put into my mouth, and about making healthy choices for me. One of the reasons I had stopped this blog was because I was feeling like a failure. Doing good one week and not the next, I also originally thought that blogging would keep me on track, after all I had to be accountable to everyone else, right....What I realize now is that the only person I have to be accountable to is me. My path to admit that I am an Emotional Eater has taken me 28 years. I can finally do that without flinching. I can also agree with the statement that it is not what I am eating, but that it is about what is eating me. A year ago I would have said, What hogwash that is, I just like food...and that was my attitude. Clearly I know now that I was not ready then  for the work that is in store for me now. I hope you come along with me on my journey,  take care until next time, Cinner

Moving Da Momma!

Hi I hope everyone had a joyous long weekend.

The weather here was beautiful,

worked in the yard, did some steak on the barbie.

Saturday was kind of a bust,

got a flat tire and what a fiasco

trying to find a place to fix it.

not to be done, everyone was so busy

and booked up maybe with getting vehicles ready

for what will be the white stuff.

I refuse to say it yet.

So I will be with my family this week.,

moving my Mom to the big city.

I am going down with my sister and her hubby and then

riding back with my Mom. I don't like her

driving such a long way by herself.

That is the one thing I really miss is being able to drive,

I guess sitting as a passenger has its benefits too,

so I won't be around much unless I can

sneak on my sisters computer.

I will be back as soon as I can.

Remember to enter my giveaway on the other blog

Things About Who, What, When, Where and Why

See Post August 31 for the details.

.........

good things to note. I have a pair of jeans

that are almost too big, I may need to get a belt.

OMGoodness,

a couple pair of shoes are too big to wear,

that is a first.

Hope you are all doing well and

remember if you fall, pick yourself back up again.

Have A wonderful week.

Cinner

All Is Good.

The hot days of summer are among us,

Everything is lush and green.

My nephews are staying with me so I have not been around much.

What I have noticed about an 18 year old and a 13 year old in the house,

they are always hungry, hungry, hungry and that is before, during, and after

they eat. I have been doing okay though and trying to stick to plan.

Everyone is noticing how much better I am after my surgery.

They are surprised by the amount of energy I have.

The other day was the first outing I have had in eight years

where I was able to go to more than one store, and be

able to do more than one thing. I am thrilled to pieces.

3 stores and lunch the other day and a movie later in the evening.

Now I was exhausted the next day and have slowed it down since.

It really really feels wonderful to be feeling fine.

Until next time be well my friends.

Take  care,

Cinner

Whoo Hoooo

Tomorrow I go and get my stitches out which makes me a

Happy Camper,

I am on my second week of Recovery

so only eight more to go.

When I feel good I hate sitting around.

But the thing is I feel good and I am thrilled about that.

The last four years had been very tough on me

as just to walk was an issue, so I am thrilled to see myself

able to do this again without hurting or becoming out of breath.

I want to dance right into my day,

In my mind I am even though the body is not quite there yet.

I am finally organized with my eating plan

and have a book strictly for wellness that I am writing 

in every day. I also cancelled my appointment

to have the Gastric Bypass Assesment.

Odd that after 2.5 years of waiting

I now change my mind.

They will call me in 2012 to make sure that I still want to cancel.

They told me I might still want to do it once my body heals.

So I am making the biggest committment to me

that I will not need it.

So far is day eight of portion control.

My Goal for July is to drink 300 bottles of water.

That is one of my shortfalls, and then plan to 

increase this on a monthly basis.

Once I have recovered is to start a vigorous exercise regime,

but for now it will be walking.

Today I am going to look for a housekeeper

for maybe once a week during the summer.

My husband is awesome but I think he needs a break.

so I am wishing all the Canadians

a Happy July 1st Holiday,

and all of my 

American Friends a Wonderful

July 4th Holiday Weekend.

Until next time,

Cinner

I Feel Good........

Hello to you all I am back at home now,

came home on Friday morning,

and I believe I am doing way better than expected,

and I realized that I will never be that tree on the horizon

that is alone,

I had so many phone calls, cards, flowers and fruit baskets, blog comments

and emails that I so very much appreciated.

Thank you to everyone for making a difficult time much easier.

Now the great news, Everything went great and 

drum roll there was no cancer. Some test was

done during the operation, it is also being sent away for a test that

is more thorough but the results will come back the same the

doctors told me;  I am on a 10 week recovery now

where I can not lift anything more than four pounds.

that means my pets around here and they are so annoyed,

well I think they are, the looks I get from them begging me to pick them

up is ridiculous. But they will have to suck it up.

As to how I am feeling.....excited because even though I hurt now,

I already don't as much as before. Great news is that I have lost

quite a bit of weight but am still swollen from the operation

so have not gone on the scale and won't for awhile.

My clothes fit bigger, I knew they would because

the cysts were quite large.

Yesterday I went for a short walk, first time in weeks

my back did not ache because I could not stand properly,

It is the first time I can touch my skin by lightly

running my fingers down over my skin

and I don't feel no pain!

(Except where Surgery was done)

A lot of positive things have opened up for me

and I am overjoyed.

My younger sister was with my husband and I at the hospital,

the first two days, 2 days later my other sister and my Mom

arrived. I think they all came to see me, but on the other hand

there seemed to be some shopping going on,

hey just saying,

So Cinner is back,

getting fit, healthy and really thankful

for my outcome.

I hope you are all doing well

I will be by to visit as often as I can,

I am not able to sit up for long right now

but that will get easier every day.

Gotta go lay down for a while,

Thanks for all your kindness

I love when a plan

all falls into place

I am blessed.

...........

Have Your Very Best Days.

Cinner

I Can, I Am, and I Will!

“The strongest oak tree of the forest is not the one that is protected from the storm and hidden from the sun. It’s the one that stands in the open where it is compelled to struggle for its existence against the winds and rains and the scorching sun.” ~Napolean Hill

I have decided it is time I get all fired up.

The last few days the winter has had me a bit down,

might be true or is it just another one of the excuses so that I can put off until tomorrow..

I can not wait until tomorrow, if I don't make me my highest priority,

well then I really need to give my head a shake..

I realize it will take more than will power on my part to reach my goals.

“Willpower can produce short-term change, but it creates constant internal stress because you haven’t dealt with the root cause.” ~Rick Warren

I need to work on Commitment,

I don't have time to waste time,

My body is the only one I have to live in,

so I better be committed to take care of it.

It is very simple I keep telling myself that I want this so bad,

well then I better be ready to do the work.

Guess what.....I am

I won't just try, I will do it.

I know I can.

I am important, I am committed to doing this

so I can do the things I dream of doing.

I will be the healthiest I can be.

There will be no stress.

I am doing this,

starting right

now.

I am excited.

It is going to be a great day!

I hope you have one,

remember you are the most 

important thing in your life.

Be well.

Just do it!

Cinner

The Best Things in Life are what we work the hardest for!

They are No Better Than You! And That is the Reality!

Good Morning, I hope you have been enjoying your weekend.

Our weather here has been beautiful, the sun shines, the birds sing,

and somehow the world just seems to become a nicer place.

I have had many comments lately about how hard it is to get over

Harsh Judgments of Others .

I am sure we have all experienced that in one form or another, and if you 

have not then your one of the lucky ones or maybe you are from another planet

than the one I grew up on..

I was out shopping in an Artsy Area of Town,

prettied up, hair done, makeup, nice outfit,

feeling wonderful and a car of young kids drive down a road,

and yell Have another Doughnut,

I teared up and thought Why are there such jerks out there.

I could go on and on with many other things that have been said to me,

Those boys that day trying to be tough guys and impress their friends.

they hurt my feelings, did a number on my self esteem.

What I have noticed over the years is this

that when you have been hurt, one has a tendency  to focus on the negative,

and when you do that, you notice the negative more.

I worked in a ladies plus size clothing store 

and met all sizes and shapes, beautiful, warm, caring, confident woman,

and some very fragile woman too.

I learned to take things not personally.

If those boys would pass me today and say the same thing,

I would feel sorry for them. I would wonder what kind of a life

they have that they have pleasure being cruel,

and that would be it, over and done,

They are not someone I would have as a friend, or would even like.

The less you start to care about all of this stuff,

I swear suddenly you will be happier,

you may walk with your head a little higher or have more confidence in your step

and you won't notice them as much.

The only opinion of you that matters is your own.

When I became ill I had some people

say to me well maybe if you lost weight it would be okay.

I printed out information about my illness 

that points out that there is no know cure

and would recommend that they do some research  as well.

After all knowledge is the key to understanding.

It changed some peoples minds and the ones it did not,

well that is unfortunate for them that they are so shallow.

Once again I don't surround myself by  harsh or negative people.

The memories you have in your mind of things that have been said,

or little digs at you, kick them to the curb, they are in the past,

they can be damaging. The only person that has to love you is you.

You may not like your weight,

so then you know you got to change it, but you do it for you.

not for anyone else and remember when you lose all your weight,

someone may make a comment on your new attitude, or your new hair color,

Sadly in society Judgments are made everyday within 30 seconds

of someone meeting you. I would rather someone remember me

because maybe I had a beautiful smile, or I said something kind to them,

and whom knows but maybe the person was afraid she would be judged for something.,

People are really not too different,

most want love, and respect, and self worth, and praise,

and if someone glances at me wrong, or checks me up and down,

well that is too bad for them.

It is not easy but you are worth it to care less and less what others think,

write your list of positives,  we all have some,

believe in yourself, tell yourself that you matter.

What are you good at, and don't try to be like someone else,

own you, own your strengths, own your new confidence.

Keep working on your weigh loss

because a healthy body makes for a healthy mind,

and whatever roadblocks we hit, we become stronger.

So try this and see if it helps 

and remember it is only your opinion that counts

the rest just don't matter.

The above is my opinion based

 on certain events in my life

Also changing patterns don't happen over night,

it takes work.
Do you do things that work well for you,
I would love to hear them.

I Got to find my Healthy!

Today some beautiful roses to share

as a way of Saying Thank you for all your kindness and Best Wishes for the New Year.

..............

One thing I want to talk about is warning signs.

We may run into them head on, or they may slowly creep up on us.

make you pause in your tracks,

We can face them or hide from them,

but they are there no matter whether we choose to face them or not..

...................

About eight years ago my Dad had a five artery bypass.

He pulled through it, and then started walking,

He did it almost every day, I remember thinking how wonderful he was doing.

We all did, and then one day he was in a car accident(not his fault)

He had broken ribs etc....after Dad healed he never kept up with his 

walking, of course he was busy on the farm, telling us all

he felt great, maybe a little tired,etc.

I often wonder what would have happened if he had kept walking.

It will be two years ago in May that Dad has passed away.

He believed he was Healthy.

he just was not healthy enough.

The other day I read a post on Anns blog

about her friend and it really made me think.

.............

I have not been in control of my weight loss

and just because I have lost a few pound

does not make me healthy.

I am still morbidly obese.

and even though all my numbers come back good.

It just is not good enough.

...............

So I am in control of what I eat,

how often I eat, where I eat.

I am in control of making better choices,

I am in control of seeing to it that I drink enough water,

I am in control of taking my medications on time,

I am in control of walking on my treadmill.

I am in control enough to know it should be a perscription

that I have to follow, and use  as diligently as I take my medications.

I refocus on my goals. I choose to live a better life,

I control that for right now this is the most important

thing that I can do for myself, so I can get around easier,

breathe better, better circulation, more energy, more stamina,

more choices.

So A New Year, A New Day,

and I try again, again,

This is my Year to Get It Right

...........

We can do this together,

I am getting my journal out and recording everything,

food, water, exercise, mood, why I eat, etc.

I hope you come along for the ride,

oh and the treadmill

has been named by Patrick.

Mr. Giddy Up,

because Lord knows,

I just have to Giddy Up and Go.

So Thank you Patrick for your help,

I was pulling a blank on this one.

.................

So if we can all just do one thing today to help ourselves,

is to start the new year by moving..

I hope you Have Your Very Best Day!

Hello and Happy New Year!

Hi I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and were able to avoid too many temptations.

I had a wonderful Christmas with my Mom and my hubby. It was a long drive, eleven hours,

but we lucked out and had wonderful weather and the full moon to guide our way.

I actually got some amazing pictures of the moon to show you.

I still have to unpack and find my camera.

I am very glad to say that the saga of Mr. Musta has come to an end.

Mr. Musta has been thrown into a snow bank for now and has been replaced today

by a new treadmill. for the time being I have no name in mind, but it will come to me.

A important message...if you have Cataplexy you may want to stay off of an Eliptical Machine.

What an effort that was, so I was on it for about 30 seconds, laughed, fell off, twisted my knee,

and hurt my glass all in about a minute. So the treadmill won out and now I can get back on track,

you note I said get back on track.....enough of that though I am looking forward to the New Year.

New goals, new plans, new beginnings.

I wish you every success in the New Year and I hope it is a year where all your 

Dreams Come True.

Take care,

Cinner

Decluttering My Vocabulary!

Well I made it through Halloween with not even a treat,

I am impressed and so was the last child that got all the remaining goodies,

He looked at his Mom and raised his eyebrows,

I said Gee I am sorry all I have left is chocolate,

and he said Oh that would be just fine with him.

His Mom and I looked at each other and smiled.

I have decided next year I am going to get healthier treats,

They will probably egg my house. lol.

..........

So November is here, the trees are bare

and the first snow fall has finally melted,

I love November and I love that you always get these new starts

at the beginning of the month.

This month I am going to do something else.

I am doing some decluttering in my house, my soul,

and I have decided to declutter some useless words to me.

The word Normal, kicked to the curb, tossed out with the garbage,

I don't think there is such a thing and I heard the saying on my photo 

from someone and I forget whom, but why does everyone want to be normal,

maybe not everyone, but I know I sure tried for a long time.

So instead of striving to be normal,

I am gong to strive to be extraordinary,

think of the possibilities one can open up just by changing one word.

The second word is Failure or Failed, those are being kicked to the curb too.

I am not looking back on any past mistakes or attempts at weight loss,

I just know this is going to be a success and to be successful you have to be a believer.

The third word Tomorrow, Fourth word Yesterday, there gone too to the curb.

I am going to live each day to the fullest, live in the now, be present, live today

!

.......

So I will see what other words I don't need,

and I will put them on my sidebar.

Are there words in your life that should be tossed out for now.

I would love to hear about it. have a extraordinary day,May you be successful and believe in yourself.

Take care,

When Not so Good turns Into Wondeful.

First of all I so appreciate all the wonderful comments I recieved,

I read them all, this weekend was so busy,

and odd that I did not get a chance to return any comments.

Just know you all have helped me immensely,

................

I had a great few days, I had one oops on Friday evening,

I think it was because I had not eaten enough .

so I increased things on Saturday,

There are two things I hate to do,

clothes shopping and shoe shopping,

but hubby and I managed to get good shoes with proper arches,

and I got a couple blouses for a wedding in January.

One is 4 sizes smaller,

once we got back home,

I needed a nap, very important I stay on a shedule with my Cataplexy,

and Hubby took off. He went looking for a treadmill for me.

This is how serious I am about this.

He came home, he could not find anything under 829.00, 

so We both thought that was it for that idea.

In the middle of the night I got on Kijiji,

and  to make a  long story short,

I have the best treadmill I have imagined having,

and drumroll please,

one hundred dollars.

Can you believe it, talk about luck.

It was out in the fancy area of town,

what a house, what a nice lady, and what lovely neighbors they had.

they had just moved in and had not met any of their neighbors yet,

and a man with two boys came over and helped my hubby.

They were so nice,

When we got back home here

Two of our neighbors,

helped hubby get it into the house and all setup.

Whoooo Hooooo, makes me extremely happy.

Have you ever had jello legs,

I can say I have,

and that is exciting.

Hubby was even walking on it tonight.

so maybe he will get in on this too,

healthier lifestyles.

............

Will go for now, I have a Doctors appointment in the am

so off to sleep.

Lrt's Have Our Best Days Ever!

Things are Looking Very Bright

Good morning,

it is 420 am,

actually still dark,

but I  know it is going to be a bright sunny day.

Yesterday was gorgeous and I spent some time in my yard working on my flower beds,

I walked the dog, I walked on the spot during commercials while watching my one soap opera.

The commercials seemed really long....lol, but I managed, that was a great feeling.

I tried my stair stepper but could not because of that pinched nerve still giving me a bit of trouble,

Breakfast, one blueberry bran muffin

one coffee with milk and one sugar,

going to work on cutting that out,all in due time.

Lunch, salad with chicken breast cut up

One tbsp of orange mandarin dressing,

Snack at 315, yogurt with almonds (12)

Dinner, small piece of chicken lasagna and coleslaw.

so I think I did very well, am a little hungry now, probably why I am awake,

so I have my water bottle sitting here,

figure I will drink one before breakfast.

................

Thank you to everyone whom commented yesterday,

I really was overwhelmed by your encouragement,

I responded to all the comments,

I found you all really kept me focused.

I see so much of me in some of your stories.

so thank you again for your kindness and support

and reaching out to help someone,

What a great support system we have and are very lucky.

...............

I watched part of Dr. Oz last night,

this is one of his recommendations,

for one week try to eat using chop sticks,

He said that most people eat slower when they are using them,

and it tricks your body into thinking it is full faster,

I think I have some around here so wish me luck with that! lol.

Fall is everywhere you happen to look,

the river valley is just simply beautiful,

we have other areas where we get the most beautiful red colors,

I  am going to try and get out on the weekend.

Yesterday the wind blew swirling leaves,

blowing them off the trees,

I watched them falling like raindrops,

thousands of them to the ground.

.......

I hope you have Your Very Best Day Ever!

Color Everywhere, except my frozen Virginia Creepers.

Walking down the road in front of our house

makes me feel like I am wrapped in a blanket,

the branches cascading from side to side

providing shade,

the arch of the trees where they meet

remind me of a tunnel,

soon the branches will be bare,

and there will be bags and bags of leaves

to rake into piles, the sound of the rake,

and the dryness of the leaves

making their own beautiful music,

their will be knocks on our door

from kids in the neighborhood

trying to make some money,

I see them going from door to door,

and they come again when it snows,

the shedding of the leaves

is a process,

just like trying to live a healthier life.

the days and seasons keep going on,

Only we can change the outcome,

...............

Today I am weighing in and measuring

and planning.....

I love me, I just want to be able to do more

Everyday,

Whether I watch the leaves fall from the trees,

or snow lay on the ground,

or rainbows in the sky,

There is no better time than the present.

.......

Thanks to everyone for the kind birthday wishes.

I had an awesome quiet weekend,

my back is doing much better

although I am taking it easy.

...........

Oh I am starting to crave water again.

Life is good,

How are you doing with your challenges,

What types of things keep you on course?

I would love to know.

Hugs from the curvy Goddess of the Harvest Moon.

May you have the best of days.

Brutally Honest.

Hi every one, Today if you like please have a visit over at my other blog. I think it is something I should have put over here as well, as I wanted all my readers to know where I stand in regards to my health.
the link is Things about Who, what, when, where and why

I hope this finds you all in good health. I never thought I would be in such a serious position, so there are all the cards laid upon the table... I may not be around as much in the next while. I need to get this on track. Thank you for all of your support.,  take care and be well and happy my friends.

It was a bit Rocky today!

 

So as I sit here just after midnight,

I am yawning, and listening to the rain on the window.,

knowing full well that  by morning it could have turned

to the white stuff yet once again.

Had my doctors appointment today,

The man is so thorough,

He listens, he asks questions. he books his patients

every ten minutes and I was in with him for over an hour.

but I think we made some progress, 

a bit more testing needs to be done.

As far as how I was feeling last week,

yes it is a bug going around.

And I thought to myself,

I figured so..

My doctor always asks me,

How are you today,

good  I say,

and then I think to myself,

if I was good I would not be here to see you.

Anyway we saw a couple people in the mall that we knew,

so it was nice to see them,

after that home to sleep.

I will go over my next plan of attack,

or plan of loving me in the next few days.

I hope you all had a fabulous day.

living and doing your best.

I would love to hear.

Sorry I have not answered my comments,

I have read everyone and hope to be much

better about this as I get over this bug,

which is really a virus,

so it has to run its course.

Take care to all

Be well.

Lets Kick some Ball or Smell the Trees......

 

Is she just not a little love.

I look at her and she just makes me 

want to smile and  jump up and play ball with her.

She is a darling little love.

We all had a nice visit.

She is one of my cousins daughter.

I even got a kiss.
 

This is the view from their home. 

I have been there before.

What I really noticed were the brilliant colors

and how much further along

the Spring was than ours,

After all it was still brown at home...

but the brown was exciting news too,

because at least it was not white.

I Simply adore color,

and love Easter colors.

We are going out for supper to a Family get together.

I hope you do truly have a wonderful Easter,

may we always remember the meaning of Easter

and all of our blessings.

Embrace your day!

Thinking of you.

Hi everybody, I have been able to enjoy the flowers on my trip and have been happy to see the sun. I have been doing quite a b it of walking trying to get out and see the sites. It is so much easier when there is no snow.

I hope you have all ben well. I am still away visiting family and under the care of my two sisters, one of whom has become the water cop.....drink more water, where is your water, you need more water, and on and on it goes. The other sister has been trying to lead me down a path of food, food and more food. I have to say that I have been really good though. I tried Sushi the other night in Vancouver. I enjoyed it although it is not high on my list of foods I would ever crave, but it was a fun experience.

We spent some time walking down by the marina, I have felt an increase in my energy as I try to walk a bit more every day. I am staying at my nephews and his fiances. The young seem to keep us on our toes. Everyone is in to recycling, composting, etc. and of course that texting thing... I will be back in about a week and just wanted to say hi and let you know that you are all in my thoughts. I will be stopping by all your blogs when I get back home. until then I hope you are all doing well.  Take care. Be well.

Oh Happy Day in 2010. I Chose to Embrace the Day!

 

This picture was not from today,

But it could have been,

When I awoke today, there was a renewed excitement for the Upcoming Year,

All the possibilities that lay before me,

I was so excited!

My feet hit the floor almost running!

I have to admit I did not make it to Midnight Last Night!

So maybe the rest did me some good.

I was up at 12.15 last night as my one dog was barking and barking,

He has never been a love of fireworks.

So I just pet him and we both listened until they ended!

So my day started with 2 glasses of water,

then a wonderful coffee and then before my husbands eyes

I was walking on my stairstepper, I am starting off slow.

Then I did some stretches and even got my barbells going.

Then I ate a healthy breakfast,

I even started taking down some of my Christmas ornaments.

It felt good, I have very high hopes for me this year,

And there is no way I can fail.

I will be back soon my little chickadees!

...........

It was a cloudy overcast cold day here,

but in my world all was glorious!