Sunday, February 13, 2011

They are No Better Than You! And That is the Reality!

Good Morning, I hope you have been enjoying your weekend.
Our weather here has been beautiful, the sun shines, the birds sing,
and somehow the world just seems to become a nicer place.
I have had many comments lately about how hard it is to get over
Harsh Judgments of Others .
I am sure we have all experienced that in one form or another, and if you 
have not then your one of the lucky ones or maybe you are from another planet
than the one I grew up on..
I was out shopping in an Artsy Area of Town,
prettied up, hair done, makeup, nice outfit,
feeling wonderful and a car of young kids drive down a road,
and yell Have another Doughnut,
I teared up and thought Why are there such jerks out there.
I could go on and on with many other things that have been said to me,
Those boys that day trying to be tough guys and impress their friends.
they hurt my feelings, did a number on my self esteem.
What I have noticed over the years is this
that when you have been hurt, one has a tendency  to focus on the negative,
and when you do that, you notice the negative more.
I worked in a ladies plus size clothing store 
and met all sizes and shapes, beautiful, warm, caring, confident woman,
and some very fragile woman too.
I learned to take things not personally.
If those boys would pass me today and say the same thing,
I would feel sorry for them. I would wonder what kind of a life
they have that they have pleasure being cruel,
and that would be it, over and done,
They are not someone I would have as a friend, or would even like.
The less you start to care about all of this stuff,
I swear suddenly you will be happier,
you may walk with your head a little higher or have more confidence in your step
and you won't notice them as much.
The only opinion of you that matters is your own.
When I became ill I had some people
say to me well maybe if you lost weight it would be okay.
I printed out information about my illness 
that points out that there is no know cure
and would recommend that they do some research  as well.
After all knowledge is the key to understanding.
It changed some peoples minds and the ones it did not,
well that is unfortunate for them that they are so shallow.
Once again I don't surround myself by  harsh or negative people.
The memories you have in your mind of things that have been said,
or little digs at you, kick them to the curb, they are in the past,
they can be damaging. The only person that has to love you is you.
You may not like your weight,
so then you know you got to change it, but you do it for you.
not for anyone else and remember when you lose all your weight,
someone may make a comment on your new attitude, or your new hair color,
Sadly in society Judgments are made everyday within 30 seconds
of someone meeting you. I would rather someone remember me
because maybe I had a beautiful smile, or I said something kind to them,
and whom knows but maybe the person was afraid she would be judged for something.,
People are really not too different,
most want love, and respect, and self worth, and praise,
and if someone glances at me wrong, or checks me up and down,
well that is too bad for them.
It is not easy but you are worth it to care less and less what others think,
write your list of positives,  we all have some,
believe in yourself, tell yourself that you matter.
What are you good at, and don't try to be like someone else,
own you, own your strengths, own your new confidence.
Keep working on your weigh loss
because a healthy body makes for a healthy mind,
and whatever roadblocks we hit, we become stronger.
So try this and see if it helps 
and remember it is only your opinion that counts
the rest just don't matter.
The above is my opinion based
 on certain events in my life
Also changing patterns don't happen over night,
it takes work.
Do you do things that work well for you,
I would love to hear them.


  1. Working in that Dress Shop must have given you years of wisdom and insight! Good that you could take it all in! And all without judging! Good on ya, Cinner!

  2. Hi girl "hey"

    My eyes have filled with tears, just like yours, from the hurtful words of some ignorant "jerks", shame on them.
    I try to see those jerks now from beneath their brokenness, - easier said than done and at times I fightback like a trapped cougar. :-) Like you said, it takes time. phew.
    Great post - such power and strength and confidence in your writing. Hallelujah!!
    Loving you

  3. Great post, Cinner. I would totally be embarrassed to be the mother of those boys, but there is a great likelihood that that is what they hear at home.

    I have been fairly lucky (except on Blogger) that most people keep their opinions or judgments of me to themselves, however, one or two have reared its ugly head.

    How do I deal with them? Once I snapped back with a sharp retort (didn't make me feel any better). Now I will address it, but with love and respect. Hopefully I can teach the person something (doubtful), but hopefully.

    Focusing on the positive is the best way to get through life.

  4. I wish you worked in a dress shop near me.

  5. Wonderful post! You always have such beautiful messages.

  6. You are ALWAYS the perfect encouragement and should be a motivational speaker! Thank you. I am so glad I found you at the beginning of my weight loss journey, because I know I'll keep pressing forward through the ups and downs by reading your encouragements!

  7. I hate the thought of someone hurting you....I have been hurt many times as well in my younger years but I still remember how it feels. You are such a beautiful inspiration cinner, big hugs always......:-

  8. Good morning... what a lovely and peaceful virtual home you've created here... may you be blessed and may our Heavenly Father shine upon you and yours today...



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