It is too early!

So I thought I would quickly catch up with everybody, First I am not used to gettting up this early anymore! I have my Weight Wise Class this morning. I worried all night about it because this is a major step for me today. I have not gone out attended once in the last seven years, because I never know when I will have a cataplexy spell. I do figure I will be sitting down most of the time, so I should be fine. I used to be such an independent person before all this nonsense started with the Cataplexy. But if you don't try you never know what you can do right.  So I am hoping for a non incident day with no sleeping or cataplexy during this. After 3 hours I will be straight home for bed to.

It snowed last night so hopefully when I hit that fresh air the cold alerts me into a much needed energy filled day. I will let you all know how I do later. I hope you all have a great day! And a Happy Halloween! This day has the potential to be our Best Day Ever!

Rocks and Oranges!

Hello My pretties, BAWAAHAHA!

How is thatt for a Halloween Greeting!

The above picture is one that I submitted to the Photography group that I belong to. We had to post about a childhood passion. That passion is and was collecting rocks. I was painting them for awhile and then I started to carve them using a handheld dremel until I blew it up last summer, it got overheated, sparks were flying, I was jumping around putting out the sparks. When I was little it was all very exciting to find a rock with a little fleck of gold in it, Oh I was rich, so rich, I think I watcheed too many Panning for Gold movies as a child.

So above are some of the artwork I have made with the rocks.

.....

But that is really not what my post is about today.other than to say all of my followers rock!

My question I pose is this, is there a limit to Christmas oranges that I should be eating in a day.

I love them and because it is cold and flu season, well I figure the more the merrier,

I have to be honest, I have a tummy ache.

So don't do it!

Quality not Quantity!

Have a great Day!

........

P.S. Doarathea, the time change is this weekend for us!

No Looking Back!

Good Morning

This photo was taken the last time I went to Saskatchewan to have a visit at the farm.

I loved it because of the reflection in the mirror, as well as the bright colors.

Looking back at eating habits there was we always had a breakfast.

We all ate together at mealtimes

And we ate what was on our plates

Very seldom were there leftovers.

There was always a huge garden

We were very active working on the farm

And I was in almost every sport I had time for.

Usually there were always deserts.

My weight was not really an issue of more than twenty pounds.

Until I moved to the city

where I now did not eat at every meal,

Alot of instant precooked meals,

junkfood, and here is the kicker,

very little exercise.

When I go home to visit,

there is, has been and always will be

enough food to feed an army!

So pretty much it has been

Come to mama!

I am not kidding you!

It could be like a no holds barred eatfest,

My mother loves to cook,

It is very hard to say no!

..........

So that is sorta the rundown, I have been on every diet known to mankind, and will never go on another one, as you set yourself up for failure. But I am on a lifestyle change to get healthier. At my first meeting last week , she suggested that I start to write down everything I eat in a day and when. What I have found is it really keeps me on track with okay you have had that piece of bread, get your fruit and protein. If I am not tracking it, oh yeah I had one then, oh right I ate that then. Oh and then there were those 4 cookies. on and on. So on Friday I have a 2 and a half hour class about the Weight Loss program, I am as open to as much knowledge that they can teach me. The other thing I have noticed is that when I would diet I really could lose weight quickly, but I tell you the aging process has kicked the heck out of that. I had heard how much harder it is after 40, and darlins that is the truth!

I am 46 now and I am excited when I turn 50

Because I want to be the healthiest that I can possibly Be.

And I am going to go skydiving and out dancing!

I am going to make this dream come true.

Together we can reach our goals, Being Consistant and Patient

We can be and do Anything.

I hope you have a bright and fabulous day, don't look back on past failures,

Lets continue our new exciting adventures!

Be Healthy!

Antipasta, Sunrises and Singing!

Good Morning, Good Morning, Good Morning,

It's time to rise and shine,

Good Morning, Good Morning, Good Morning!

I hope your feeling fine!

Come on, get up , get out of bed,

Come on, get up, you sleepy head!

.....

If your not a morning person you will be so annoyed that you will want to throw a pillow at me.

But I was not the one singing the above song!

It was my husband, lovingly turning the tables on me.

I could have slept for about 3 or 4 more hours, I am sure.

But I have promised to help make Antipasta at his Moms today.

There is usually a get together at this time of year.

As my Mother In Law has hurt her arm,

I am designated as Chief Vegetable Chopper!

I just might have to get the recipe!

Right now off to the shower, and must get ready for my day.

I don't think the vegetables will care if I don't have my makeup on,

But one never knows what the girls can get up to on a Saturday morning!

Have a great day, I hope you all get out and enjoy the day!

If not enjoy your day at home!

Sisters and Carrot Sticks!

This is a picture of my sister and her fiance out for a walk. This photo I took the last time I went to visit her. Of course I have edited as you can tell as I love black and white photography. What I have found out in life this past year, that there is really no such thing as black and white, as so much that has happened seems to have a grey area too. I myself that things are not always set in stone, that way there is room for growth, an opportunity to forgive, more opportunities to keep your heart open to love and the possibilities that may come from that. Today I sat outside and raked a few leaves as I am trying to get some exercise daily so as to build up my strength. I sat in the sun with a dog on each side of me, their unconditional love.Today my two sisters were getting together  in the city where they live and well I wish I could have been there. So I sit instead and think of them, love them both, amazed at their differences !

We would of had fun together the three of us, but I know one of my sisters and they are probably eating the biggest piece of chocolate cheesecake she could find.

As for me I have just had a snack of carrot sticks.

I always get the hicups after eating them,

not sure why! I guess it might be one of those things that make you go hmmmm!

I hope you all have a chance to enjoy your Day.

Today in the sun was one of my best Days!

Rhe Day Before Me!

Sometimes there is nothing like a good walk to make you feel alive and alert and somehow  almost reborn. Maybe it is the crisp morning air, when you can see your breath and feel the freshness as you breath, taking the fresh air into your lungs. I really like to walk at this time of the year, I don't like to walk when I am hot, because my legs swell and it seems quite hard for me! My sister in law is coming to pick me up today, and off to the dogpark we will probably go. It really is a wonderful place to meet people, and of course the dogs figure they have died and gone to heaven. So two things have changed since I had my appointment the other day. One is I am actually excited about doing this for me. I did take my husband and he has not brought in any treats for me since, Also there are 9 modules I have to take, the first one is booked for Oct 30. There will be about 40 people there,....instant panic attack. I know that sounds crazy, I always feel if I have a cataplexy spell that people will think I am drunk. One of the things that happens with my cataplexy is that you have complete loss of muscle tone and are aware of everything going on around you, you can hear but you can not respond so that is a fear for me. I have decided I am going to be dropped off and picked up, but that I am not taking anyone with me. I don't need a caregiver and I have to learn that if these things happen oh well.....and if it a really bad group....well maybe me pretending I am drunk will be just what they need to get the morning rolling. The other thing is if the person instructing that morning has a monotone voice well that could put me to sleep...however my best time of the day is from 930 until noon,,,so I really should be okay! Anyway I will deal with it all, on my other blog listed on the side there is a youtube gadget and if you type in Cataplexy there are some videos that will show up if you are interested in learning more, The best one is a middle aged man from I believe Britain. His account I believe is the most accurate! Anyway that is all folks, In the afternoon today I will have no cable, internet or phone as they are doing some repairs in the area...Sounds like a good day to get some rest and maybe do some painting or drawing, Once I have sent my project to my friend I will show you some of my drawings! For now take care, enjoy your day and Be well!

Good News or Bad News?

So today was the first day at taking the next step in my life to get healthy!

First of all it is very important that people know the difference between north and south.

Especially when they are giving the directions...so instead of going to the  weight loss community services.

I just about ended up in a facility for extended care patients.

Thank Gosh my husband was there to get me where I needed to go.

So today was pretty much what I thought it would be

I have to commit to going for two years and your weight is monitored, etc.

Now it is not the weight loss clinic, but it is a steady seeing how weight affects you as you age!

There was about twelve pages of questionaires that I had to answer, and I have decided this.

I think there is the assumption that if you are overweight that there is no evidence of self esteem.

No I don't hide in my house, no I am not scared to meet people, and on and on it went.

So I have come out of it with this thought!

I had always worked until I got sick, I was highly social as well!

I did not get sick because I was overweight, but because I have been so stagnate,

I have gained weight! The hidden reason is simple!

Having my illness has limited me so that I am more prone to gaining weight and because of that I want a healthier life!

No I am not depressed, no I don't hate myself!. I look in the mirror and know that I am an intelligent woman who likes food and carries around the extra weight of a small person! I don't hate her or me! In fact I do like myself. Being diagnosed with an illness makes you appreciate all that life has to offer and for that reason alone I want to be healthier!

I suppose they have to ask all these questions,  it makes me concerned for all the people that feel that are not socially acceptable,,,sure I know that feeling, but those opinions are usually coming from a person that I would not want or have in my world because of their belief system!

I have had children tell me I am fat. And I have responded why yes I am, God makes people in all shapes and sizes, isn't it wonderful. And with that I usually get a hug and off they go to p.lay.

I will not be one of these people that says, yes I am isn't it awful!

What is awful is if I lost a leg to diabetes, or if I had a heart attack, or that I would have an early death.

.............

So on a much lighter note I have lost an inch and a half, tis true,

In my height! uh huh in my height, so at age 46 I am getting shorter.

I believe by the time I am sixty I will be under 5 feet high!

The lovely lady I spoke to today asked me if I was on AISH(which is the disability term up here in Canada)

Now keep in mind she had a strong accent and she asks this question, and I reply yes I am 46....me thinking she has asked my age....My husband gave me the strangest look and I thought whats up with him. She then asked again and I said I am 46 and of course I raised my voice as obviously she was hard of hearing!My husband said Cindy she wants to know if your on AISH! Well lthis made me laugh and laugh and my head kept dropping because now I was having my Cataplexy spells and my husband was explaining what was happening. and the more he talked the more I seemed to laugh. Finally everything was fine and now I had to get my glasses on to finish filling out the paper, as I was getting my glasses I kept thinking she was the one with the hearing problem.  Anyway I made it home safe and sound, she explained how the whole thing would work, I can apparently book to take the workshops, there is no wait list for that so I will be able to get at this right away. I am game to figure out any problems or anything that will help me!

So this I know for sure, I am not on AISH, but I am 46, I am not five feet three, I am five feet 1 and a half and I am excited about this new process, the wait list to see a specialist is still a year, they asked how I felt about that. I said I knew it and was neutral, that I know about all the cutbacks and that they can only do what they can do!

So I am off to read a book, or draw, and remind myself I can only do what I can do!

I Have A Beef!

Good Morning, Today I have decided to write about What's My Beef?

I do have to say it is one of my favorite photos that I took at the farm during weaning season!

So I figure Monday morning that Most People complain about the start of a new week.

Today I am complaining about all the treats that came into my house, so I have sat my husband down,

I said Oh Honey we need to have a talk....this always brings a look of horror on his face!

One thing about my husband is he enjoys his beer, and he loves to bring me chocolate, fast food,

His attitude is that a little won't harm me, so this is what I have decided to do!

First of all I know I have the power to say no I won't eat it, however I do find it hard when it is here calling

my name....Cinner, oh Cinner, until at a weak moment when I can fly over tall buildings, do back flip, eat the chocolate, wash my hands and face and be back before he knew I was even gone..

So Here is My Plan!

I am going to the Weight Wise Program and I am taking him with me!

Hopefully he will realize that he has to help me with this!

I think he will realize how beneficial it could be for me.

He always says, you were a plus size when I married you and I loved you then,

and I love you now!

I know he does, that is why I need him to be on board with this as well.!

So it should be an interesting day, I am doing this for my health!

He says I am beautiful, etc,

But I know he knows how hard it is for me some days.

I am craving life like I said in my last post

So we have to do this together!

Wish me well!

So thats my beef for today!

Take care, be kind to yourself.

To Crave or Not To Crave!

So I have been sitting here thinking about how I crave different food, be it because of the sun, moon or stars, I don't know. Somedays I love my chocolate, other days I crave something salty...But I discovered today, even though I am having those cravings, I am starting to have other cravings....No, no, Don't let your imaginations run away with you! I am craving life! I am craving how it would feel to climb a hill, or run in the park, or swim in a lake, or skydive, or dance for a half an hour, stand without sitting down every few minutes, or even walk around in a mall just to look. Alot of these things have slipped from my fingers a few years ago and unfortunately the less you do, the less you are able to do. I have been working really hard at changing this aspect in my life. These cravings are by far way ahead of the chocolate or salt that I am craving.
So today I threw snowballs, I shovelled some snow, I walked to the end of the block and back and I ate really healthy. I drank my water! I chose to look ahead and not backwards, and better still is I know I am making progress, slowly little by little, to some it may seem so tiny, but for me it was like hiking to a mountaintop. And someday....I plan to get there. Have a great evening or day!

It's Clear as Glass!

You know sometimes things seem so crystal clear. I can wake and there is no doubt in my mind that I am going to have a good day! Thered be days like this, thered be days like this, thered be days like this my mamma said! That is the tune I have had going on in that brain of mine since about six am this morning. This am when I opened the door to let the dogs out, I was met by a blast of cold and about another two inches of snow. The kicker is they say it is supposed to be plus 15 on the weekend. We have had snow for about two weeks, I am certainly hoping it will go so I can get out in my yard and get the rest of my lawn ornaments in!

My appointment at the hospital was changed until Monday, but at least my husband will be able to drive me. Since I got Cataplexy, my days of driving are over! That is one of the things I miss the most. That bit of independance when I wanted to go do something I could, but it is better to be off the road. I have read up and certain areas in the states will have laws against driving if you have cataplexy, yet it is okay in others.

So since I am housebound today and up early I am going to put together an exercise program that I will be doing everyday! I am committing to this everyday except on weekends during the winter! I figure I will need 2 days of rest or I will quit it after a while. Sometimes it is crystal clear that the best way to do something is to just get at it! So thats where I am at! I have energy right now so I better be off to do this before I can't.
Thanks everyone for your kind words and encouragement. It is crystal clear to me too that you all have a fond place in my heart.

1, 2, 3, Jump, kick, bend......Don't worry Rome was not built in  a day either! Have your Best Day!

The root of the Problem!

This is something I have pondered alot! I have read so many times that if you are overweight there has to be some major reason why your eating! That  there is some hidden issue that we have not dealt with! I always think why do they look for a problem! Can't it be as simple as the fact that I love food!  Especially bread, and unfortunately it all seems to stick to my body! As a child I remember coming in from outside to the smell of fresh baked bread or buns especially in the winter, and we would all sit around the table and have buns, butter and jam! So yummy and tasty and warm! Was it comfort food, no we were cold and trying to warm up, and it was a family moment! So why does it have to be analyzed, that if you aare eating, you are missing something in life, no my life is pretty good, I am happy and content with who I am, I would like to have more energy and less aches and pains, but other than that life is pretty good. Tomorrow I start at the Weight Wise program at one of the local hospitals, I will be opened minded and willing to learn, Apparently they help you figure out why you eat, what triggers it and such. So I will keep an open mind and hopefully get to the root of the problem!....yesterday was our Thanksgiving and I did not overeat, but I did have the works, I find the smell so appealing....Maybe I just need to walk around with a clothespin on my nose! LOL. Take care my friends, I will let you know what happens when I go tomorrow!

OMG!

Usually once a week I have the same look on my face!

It happens when I open the fridge.

I swear people it can be a disgrace!

I have to be very careful when I open the drawer.

Because somehow my fruits and vegetables

look nothing like they did before!

It reminds me of my closet

that shrinks all my clothes

Or when I do  my laundry,

Where are the socks, nobody knows!

I know this for sure, those fruits and vegetables are not the ones I chose!

Does this ever happen to you. I really have good intentions and I hate wasting food, I have to be more diligent about having things ready so that I can make the right choices. Have you ever bought groceries and then looked in your fridge and thought there is nothing good to eat? Well I have been feeling that just a little, so I will buy less and shop more often.!

What Has Happened to A.J.?

This cat is my sisters fiances cat named AJ. The cat, Not the Fiance!

A.J. has moved from a trailer into a tri-level house!

Apparently when anyone visits they ask "What has happened to A.J?"

A.J. has had more exercise and is being chased by two loving young adults.

I guess thats what I need is someone to chase me around the house.

Hopefully not a cat!

Hard to Climb!

Sometimes it seems like a long way to get to where we want to be going. I felt this today. I have been on a waiting list to go to a weight wise program through one of the hospitals . I was called today and have booked an appointment for next week for their assessment. I was also told that there would be about a year wait until I actually am in the program. So I thought to myself...Assessment, well I can tell them FOR SURE I AM OVERWEIGHT! Then I thought a year, are they kidding me, I hope to be much healthier in a year, then I thought, get on the list because it can't do any harm right. I guess it is quite a popular program and since I want to get as healthy as I can, I have decided to give it my all. I sometimes wonder why I fight some of the things I know will be beneficial to me. Surely I want to change! I remind myself after being tired out the last few days, how hard it is sometimes to go for a walk, I know the benefits, so I am going to grasp on and hold with both hands! I will make it to the top of that hill, not this fall, maybe by summer, one day at a time. Be well!

Back To Reality!

Hello, I am glad to be back home! One of the reasons is my mother loves to feed her children. I did quite good, but know I am back for many more better days ahead of me. I had my weigh in and have lost another 5 lbs as of the first of October. I may have gained at my moms but weighin is not until November first. I was 298 and now I am 278 which is an average of 10 lbs per month. So now I want to get really focussed again so I can keep at this long battle ahead of me. I just wanted to quickly touch base with you this am, I hope you are all well  and that things are going great for you on your journey. I will be by to see you all soon. C