So I have really been doing a lot of soul searching lately,
trying to figure out why it is hard for me to stay committed to my weight-loss.
On my other blog I have talked about an incident in my past when I was fourteen,
and now that I have talked about it I am feeling like I don't have to hide anymore.
So it is strange to me that by doing so, I have lost ten pounds in the last two weeks
without even trying. It is not what your eating, its what is eating you. I am not sure who
said that, and I used to hear it and think what a bunch of whoha.
I would always say I am fat because I love the taste of food, because I eat too much,
because I don't exercise, because, because....but I could never rationalize that it might
be something from inside. Would'nt by admitting that, you may as well say you have a problem.
Why was that so hard, and why did it take me so long to figure out.
I grew up in a normal loving family(with it's own level of dysfunction)
I believe that dysfunction can also be believed to be normal,
until you realize that hold on, this was not normal at all.
I think that is why I hate the word normal, and the word
comfortable, nothing scares me more.
When I was diagnosed with Narcolepsy/Cataplexy I felt like I was told I was broken.
I know that sounds silly, but I refused to play the victim. No pity parties for me,
and a lot of people had it harder.....what I did do though was wait for the old me,
(wishing I would get my energy back, wishing I could drive, wishing I could work,
wishing I would not have to sleep so much,,,,,,just like wishing to be skinny...)
I can honestly say I don't wish anymore for such things.
I am who I am, and if I want to be healthier,
I have to get up off my behind and start doing the work.
I read somewhere something like this,
We can not be short of time,
Mother Theresa, Martin Luther King, etc
all had the same 24 hours in a day
and they found the time.
So without going on and on,
My number one priority is exercising,
and healthy eating, and I guess more soul searching.
I do believe I am in the Best time of My Life,
and I am so excited to be able to look at things
with a different perspective.
Sometimes changing your perspective
can change the outcome.
To think I was going to just say,
Have a Great Monday.