Monday, January 11, 2010

I Thought It Was A Bright Idea!

I have had an interesting couple of days,
First  one of  our neighbors came to see us on Saturday,
He had gotten sick apparently in December
and had a heart operation.
He came through everything just fine.
I had a visit with him on the 7th of December.
So he was already back at work last week,
and had overdone it and right back in the hospital.
He talked about he had two good days,
but he apparently had to learn to pace himself.
My husband told him that that is what happens to me.
I awake with energy and then do to much,
and then I am down for the count for 3 days.
Anyway the weather was nice,
and I am trying to get in better shape,
have a bad cold, a bit of trouble breathing because it is in my chest.
Anyway we wanted to go two blocks down to see the ice sculptures.
It was an art festival..
O.K. we will take the dogs,
We went down two blogs,
I told my husband I could not do it,
had to go home and would see him soon,
He was just going to keep walking the dogs.
I could see from where I was a couple of wigwams,
bomb fires, the ice sculptures, weiner roasts, hot chocolate,
a hill for sledding, there were indoor things to check out.
I was frustrated knowing that I had to head home.
I turned around and walked about one half a block,
huffing, puffing, my heart was racing,
my one leg was going numb.
I was afraid!
I went a bit farther, had to lean against a tree,
Two more houses down I leaned on the fence.
Why had I not brought my cane?
I could see my house,
only four houses away,
Was I going to make it?
I had to stop two doors down,
I waited for about 5 minutes,
walked to my front yard gate,
balanced myself for a few minutes,
entered the yard,
Only about  twelve more feet to go.
Three stairs to get to my door,
I was very shaky,
I unlocked the door,
and sat on a bench in my front porch.
I had made it!
I started to cry, it had been such an overwhelming experience for me!
About 10 minutes later I was okay, still a bit out of breath,
My husband walked through the door and said,
Hey, how are you, are you okay!
He and the dogs had had a great walk,
I told him about what happened!
The thing is I could have done that in the morning.
For me to even venture out at four  in the afternoon is crazy.
You see I have all the symptoms of Narcolepsy,
and somedays putting one foot in front of the other is almost impossible.
So is walking four blocks in the late afternoon.
I want to embrace life and all it can offer,
but I have to remember little by little!
I don't like to complain about it, and I am not,
I am writing this in case anyone else struggles and has ever felt the same way!
My husband had offered to walk me home,
but I wanted him to have fun,
and I was sure I would have been fine.
I am glad that this did happen to me today
Because I really have to do as much as I can
to be able to stay ahead of this illness.
There is no doubt in my mind that if I lost some weight I would have easier days.
So I have everything to start in the am,
my journal, my meals all prepared for the day,
all my exercise equipment is in my living
room with my name on it.
Tai Chi to Start!
I am doing everything in my power
not to have another day like today.
I am not having a pity party, there are many diseases worse than mine,
I am just being honest, that I have bad days too.
And sometimes a Reality check hits you on the head!
Sorry about the long post.
Please see my other blog to find out who has won the giveaway.
Thank you to everyone that commented.
It was a lot of fun
Thanks to everyone for all your comments and support.


  1. Wow! to the reality check.
    They can really catch a person off-guard!

  2. Oh heart broke as I read your post....but...I thought about you and me and our water...and I wanted you to know that I am doing sooo well with drinking mine...and want to encourage you as you encouraged me. Know that I'm thinking of as you start your regime. Don't take on tooo much...don't try to do too much as once. Like you said, "One step at the time"....and make them manageable ones.
    I'm here...and I'm with you....all the way.
    Many hugs,

  3. HI CINNER - "hey"

    Okay, listen up! :-) First, never ever go ouit without your cane or a walking stick - it just makes good sense that if one has a condition where balance is off and weakness is a factor then ALWAYS have your cane or walking stick with you. Okay, now I can relax.

    I SO understand how you feel as I too, adjust to my limits while I embrace my freedoms. I have god and bad days too and I have to be so careful not to over do. Balance.

    I felt so bad that you were so scared. I am so afraid to be afraid like that - I think I am over cautious at times because I am so afraid to be afraid. Ya know?

    And,might I add, if you get a 'rollator', which is a walker with wheels and a seat - you can stop and rest whenever you need to. And it allows you to go further because by using your arms on the handles it takes some of the weight off your legs - :-) you have seen pictures of me with mine at Chatfield Hollow, right? I did not want to get one, but I surrendered and I don't go anywhere without it!!And they come in cool colors.

    I love you girl

  4. Gail, your such a sweet heart, you know I never go out without it...Yesterday I was excited to go and get there and well you know the rest. I just might have to get a rollator, I know my husband will not leave me alone again....but I think it just might be time for me....maybe we can name our you. Hope you are well and that things are looking up for Nancy.

    Jackie, thank you for your support. I am so glad you are doing well with the water. I am on bottle two this am and it is only eight, I won't overdo it! Big hug to you my friend. Today I am feeling much better, my husband is around for the errands to do...not alot but enough. lol. Take care.

    Anne it sure threw me! I have to admit it. I will make you proud today. Take care. Thanks and you are doing so good, it keeps me motivated. Besides when you come to Canada for a visit, I need to be ready to keep up with you.
    lol. Have a great day.

  5. Take some good advice from AA, which can be applied to just about any situation: One day at a step at a MINUTE at a time, one MOMENT at a time...on bad days, break it into MOMENTS...don't overdo...don't beat yourself up...things will get better!!!

  6. Oh Cinner that sounds just awful.

    What is it you have and I hope that you are seeing your doctor regularly. That does not sound good to me. Please make an appointment and rediscuss this.

    Don't worry too much about the weight right now dear friend, worry more about seeing what is wrong. And maybe you need to have a rest in the day.

    Love Renee xoxo

  7. Cinner, I am so sorry to hear about that. I wish I had have been on your street to see you and at least give you a few comforting words while you got your breath back, it sounds frightening. There are better days to come as well as those bad ones and that what keeps us going. Take it easy Cinner and take care! ((hugs!))

  8. Cinner,

    I know it feels overwhelming to have such huge obstacles, but start small. I've got lots of health problems and if I lost some weight it would make things easier for me too. I really understand. Just take it one day at a time as Penniwig says, and be loving and kind to yourself. I'm so glad I found you!

    Sending hugs and encouragement your way,


  9. Jan, hi, I had a much better day today, thank you so much for your kind words. I will come have a visit at your blog. Hugs right back to you, I feel you know what I am talking about. Visit you soon. Take care.

    Clairedulalune, Thanks Claire, I would have stopped at your house and we could have drawn together. Today was a much better day. I know to do things in the morning.Take care, Hugs!

    Renee, Oh you are so kind. Yes I do need to rest during the day. I have Cataplexy which is a symptom of Narcolepsy. I am on medication and there is no cure but it is livable. Without medication because my Cataplexy is so severe, I lose muscle control and collapse. The silly thing is that it is triggered by emotions, so when I laugh I would just fall to the ground for a couple minutes. This can go on all day. So I can't drive, can't stay up for more than three hours because as soon as I tire they start again. No reason for me to get it at my age..One of my friends asked me if they could fix it and it meant never laughing again what would I do, You know Renee I just can not imagine a life without laughter. I do have good doctors and have seen a couple of surgeons as well, they don't know if surgery would help or not so until it gets worse this is how it is....I have had this now for seven years and because I have been so inactive thus the weight gain.....At the beginning I was scared because I did not know what was wrong....but really I am blessed most days because I learned to slow down and enjoy life more. Sorry I went on and on. that tells me I am tired again. I just have fewer hours in a day so I do try to make the most of them. Take care and a big hug to you. I hope you are feeling well. I admire your strength so much. Big hug! With the cataplexy I am aware of everything around me, I just can't respond or move. Better days ahead, c

  10. cinner, I felt so badly for you when I read this post and for some reason I felt a fear for must listen to your body and not venture out like that or away from your husband, a bad fall or something worse could happen. If anything good came out it, it's that you now know not to do it again especially so late in the and care for you.......:-) Hugs

  11. Dame Penniwig, Thank you, I so needed to hear your words today. Thank you for that. Hope you are well. Take care. Don't overdo is the key words!

  12. Bernie, he never lets me walk by myself, but at the end of our street they had ice sculptures and the works and I knew he wanted to go and I said, oh I will be just we went out to his Moms for lunchm it was nice and early so everything worked out good today. And i am the one that knows my body. love you too Bernie, hUGS,

  13. There is no cure for me sweet Cinner I am stage 4 terminal inflammatory breast cancer and I have had it for 4 years.

    Renee xoxo

  14. Cin,
    Please take it easy, take your cane and slow down....may 2010 bring you good health.
    Thank GOD for husbands, yours sounds like a wonderful man.....

    Wishing you the best,

  15. Oh honey, I held breath as I read until I knew you got home safe. I was scared for you and can only imagine how hard it must have been for you.

    Congratulations to you for looking at this as a positive and a recharger to be proactive in your wellness.

    One day at a time! I'm cheering you on.


  16. Just like Joanna, I held my breath as I read and knew you got home safely. I'm sorry this happened and I'm sure it was frightening for you.

    Your husband sounds wonderful. :)


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