Focus On This.

Hi Everyone,

things seem to be a little out of focus for me lately,

the above was done with some photo editing.

I quite liked the end result,

and I guess that is what matters.

............

It looks so very much unlike the original,

as I guess when some of us make it to our goal weights,

will we recognize ourselves.

I have never been able to visualize myself thin,

I can visualize myself healthy, but not thin.

Is that strange.

When I think of the end result.

I can feel me lighter,

more confident,

more energy, breathe with ease,

stay awake for longer hours,

less swelling, better circulation.

you see I have been all these things,

and that is what I want to feel again,

that is what I know.

I have never been thin,

and I really have no desire to be thin.

In better shape yes, but not thin

Do you think that is odd.

Maybe when you have come so close to dying,

it is about your health.

My skinny picture of me was 180

and I felt wonderful.

I felt wonderful at 268 when I married my second husband,

I was working full time, very active, always on the go,

but getting sick, gaining 50 pounds,

I know I hit bottom as I could no longer physically do.

With the Narcolepsy/ SevereCataplexy

Acid Reflux, imbiculus hernia,

sleep apnea, 

I admit that on some days I am scared,

and I want to live and that is why I keep trying every day

But I honestly don't care if I ever fit in a size 10 pair of pants.

At my last physical, no high blood pressure, everything was in alignment with where the numbers 

should be, no diabetes, etc.

and I thought to mysefl

are you kidding me.

For I know that my body with its inactivity, and loss of muscle strength,

is telling me all the warning signs.

And I am going to achieve my goal

to be fit, eat healthy and live a better lifestyle.

I have to admit with the Narcolepsy/Cataplexy

some days are very hard to stay awake,

I don't have control over that,

but I do have control over what I put in my mouth.

Heres to making better choices so we can all live longer.

Heres to feeling good.

Heres to keeping focused.

Have a great day,

Cinner