Time Has Come

Time Has Come

I have thought long and hard about my decision to no longer continue blogging for no other reason than my Computer that I have lovingly named Garfield has seen better days. I feel that time has come for me to
get out and start doing and as someone with a Chronic Illness time only permits so much. I want to thank all of you who encouraged me, befriended me, read and posted on my blog. You truly have made an impact on my life. I have been inspired by your photography, your words of wisdom, honesty, and compassion, your artistry, and most of all by your hearts. If I can take one thing away from this experience is that each individual has so much to offer in this world and that lifes struggles hit everyone of us throughout our lives. We are all very similar, I am signing off wishing you health, happiness and love. I will keep you in my heart. I hope you all continue to have your best of days. Until next time, Cinner

I Would Rather It Say She Slipped on a Banana Peel!

Usually I like to be pretty positive,

the other day started like any other,

Up early, morning coffee, some blogging,

then time for a lovely morning shower.

A while back I realized I needed one of those shower chairs

and a while back I told you how it had a slight crack in it

and had pinched my derriere in the shower,

no skin off my butt,

except actually there was,

now the battle of the shower chair continues

and it kicked more than my butt this time.

It kicked my whole body!

The battle in the shower also

affected my drawing skills too.

Like I said just brutal.

And this is what remains of the chair.

But meanwhile back in the shower,

I went down with my feet stuck in the air,

my head sort of on the back of the tub,

my stomach was probably up over the tub,

the girls were darn near smothering me,

and somehow I managed to tear my hamstring.

So if you thought I probably got up gracefully,

I would have to say I think not, okay I know not!

And as if that was not bad enough,

I had cold water pouring down on me

because I had a cataplexy spell

due to being startled when it broke,

so I don't know how long I lay there.

The good news

I did manage to get up

and get warm.

Since my adventure I have not been getting around the best.

My leg is really sore and I am amazed at the

ridiculous situations I get myself into.

Now I am going to call the 

supplier about the chair,

what are the odds this story goes over well.

That chair was supposed to help me,

it darned near killed me.

Imagine that on your tombstone,

broke chair alone in shower.

I think I would rather have it say

slipped on banana peel.

............

So how have you been?

I know I am blessed and on the mend,

and lucky me I see the humor in these situations,

but hubby has to be careful when he comes

home from work,

because when he asks

'How was your day?"

........

well he just never knows what he will hear.

Have a great week,

Be your best,

Cinner

Don't Believe Everything You Think.

via pinterest

One of the things I have really been focusing

on lately is positive versus negative thinking.

Now I think I am a pretty positive person

about life, about myself.

I believe in living your best days etc.

But when I really get down to things,

some of my distortive thinking

has been that I am broken

since I got my illness,

just that I am not capable of doing what I used to.

Another one has been my not being able to

have children, that somehow I was not

whole, I was broken.

I realize that when one has these thoughts,

that it is going to impact everything.

I think one can only hide behind their strength

for so long, and sooner or later you have

to deal with the so called crap in our lives.

When one has an invisible illness,

you encounter all kinds of doubt,

unfortunately a lot of people

believe your overweight,

nothing wrong with her, she is just fat and lazy.....

So there are a few of my distorted thoughts.

so I have learned this.

SO WHAT.

Example if I think someone thinks that I am fat and lazy,

that is my perception. I am not a mind reader,

and if they really do think that,

I have a choice to let that effect me or not..

So if someone thinks it or glances at you wrong,

We can go from zero to 360 about rudenes,

bottom line is So What, does their opinion matter,

The validation does not need to come from someone

else, because we have to believe in ourselves.

I am losing this weight for me,

for me, for nobody else,

I don't need to be told I look okay,

I need to know that within myself.

So out with any negative,

too much time and energy

is wasted on the what ifs

in life.

I like me and I am learning to

love me.

I keep hearing from the movie help

You is kind,

You is beautiful,

you is important.

On Monday I had three appointments

and all are very happy with my progress

in one month is seventeen pounds lost,

more energy, keeping goals,

more confidence, changed how I am eating,

I am controlling the food, the food no longer

controls me...

I am off to a good start.

I hope you all have a Very Good Day!

Until next time,

Cinner

So I had a Friend Call Me On It....

Recently I had a talk with one of my really good friends

and we were discussing how I usually say to

Have Your Best Day Ever.

She said I call Bullshite on that one.

Me batting my eyes at her, Why Whatever Do You Mean?

She said there is no way you can have your Best Day Ever Every Day.

I have thought a lot about this and I think because I have years that 

I refer to as The Lost Years, age 39 until about 44.

I had developed the Severe Cataplexy, more info in the page above.

At its very worst I could not stand up without falling down.

This was triggered from any kind of emotion,

Now I want to tell you that when these episodes happen

I am aware of everything around me, I can hear,

I just can not respond or move for a few minutes. Then I would

try to get up and it would continue around the clock.

Luckily there are medications that help to control this,

you just have to find the right combination and

that was worse than the Cataplexy until we found the right

combination of medicines.

What I learned from that time in my life

was that Every Day Matters, it might not be a good one when I would wake up,

but if I went around thinking oh man I feel horrible, well then that was

all I was going to feel. I would wake up and I would think okay I have

energy right now and I would take advantage of it because

I knew that in about an hour there would not be any, so I had to live in the

present moment and that is how I live and hopefully will always live.

Do I have down days, Occasionally sure just like everyone.

But if I wake up feeling down or not well, and I walk around saying

Oh man it is gonna be a shitey day today, well then I really am not

setting myself up for many options or opportunities.

I know this One never knows what Life May Throw At You,

I don't have it in me to duck and hide from Life,

Do I have perfect days, sure but my perfect is not the same

as what you would describe as perfect nor should it be.

But my Best Day is living as best as I can that day.

To appreciate, to enjoy, to be optimistic, to be grateful, and to 

do my very best for that particular day.

Every day I wake up and I am as Old as I Have Ever Been,

but on the same day I am as Young as I will Ever Be,

So I do the best I can to do what I can for that day.

Do I have every day life obstacles that come my way,

Sure I do, Just Like Anyone Else, Do I have the perfect

relationship, No but what I have is genuine and I have

a lot of laughter now and I don';t have to worry as

much about controlling my emotions because

of my medications. I used to be a Workaholic, I am

nowhere near the same as I was, but I am so much better.

I understand what is important for me,

A coffee in the morning in my favorite cup,

music to either soothe my soul or to envigorate me.

Knowledge in knowing there is more to me than my work.

Trusting that no matter what things will work out as they will,

that all the worry in the world can not change the outcome,

that sometimes even if I don't understand now why things are a certain way.

I will one day., and that everything in my life that I have gone through

has brought me to my path that I am on now.

What was the worst day of my life,

I have had many bad days because of poor judgement on my part

especially when I was younger.

But my worst day was when I lost my Dad

because it was so unexpected.

Somehow you manage and you remember

things you had forgotten and though I can not see him

there has not been a day I have not felt him in my heart.

That is a beautiful thing, I have become very close to my

Mother, my Mother has become much more independant,

and she makes me laugh at all the new things she has had to face.

But she has done her best and your choices are pretty much this,

,Make it a good one!

................

Sorry I rambled on and on,

Just a reminder about the giveaway over at

Things About Who, What, When, Where and Why

I could not get the link to work today but it is on my Sidebar.

................

Hope You Are All Well,

Have Your Very Best Day Ever!

Take care,

Cinner

Just Saying, Sometime You May Have to Run!

A picture taken in Victoria, B.C.

so tranquil, peaceful, beautiful.

I have been walking in the mornings

and I swear the area is inundated by dogs.

Almost every house in our area has dogs,

and I might add the odd one would sooner have you for breakfast

rather than to let you pass in what is considered his territory.

I was thinking this morning how peaceful it used to be

when I lived in the country and could go on walks,

where just maybe if you were lucky

you might encounter a deer.

So I continue to walk and take my life in my own hands.

I figure if I get chomped in the gl ass,

well just maybe I might lose some weight.

just saying,

and there is nothing like a feisty Rotti

running at you to really make you accelerate in the morning.

I try to show no fear, but I think the look of terror on my face

is enough of a giveaway.

It is not just the big dogs to be fearful of either,

the little ones are the worse nipping at your heels,

cursing at you as they go by.

My two laid back dogs looking at me as if they are saying,

What the heck was that.

So when we can we go off to the dog park,

there is something about dogs being off leash,

and it is a wonderful way to meet new people.

I have to go with my SIL

because I can not drive since I got Cataplexy.

My best friend has come for a visit

and is staying a few days...

She is the one whom hit a moose last year

and totaled her car.

She is now driving a Canary Yellow Bug

that she named Otis. we went for a drive last night

and I loved it. We sat up quite late and talked

about everything and anything, the funny thing

was how she taught herself to learn how to drive a standard.

Please watch next week for a giveaway on my other blog,

which is listed on the sidebar.

I won't be around the rest of the week,

hopefully I am out with my friend or you

can picture me on my morning walks

being chased by  dogs.

There is nothing like a brisk walk in the morning,

a dog running at you with teeth bared,

getting closer and closer,

louder and louder,

the chain that he is dragging behind him leaving ridges in the grass,

I yell go lay down, they usually do. Thank the Lord above.

Be well my friends, I hope you are all having a great week

and that you are feeling beautiful, positive and loved.

Until next time!

Cinner

The Ups and Downs of the Day and making choices........

Well today I had quite the day,

My sister and her boys left at seven thirty in the morning.

They were so good when they were here,

the dogs love having them around too,

Both dogs love to play soccer, so with the boys here they were in heaven.

I felt like crying after they left today but I will see them in a month,

They were really excited about getting home and being able to play

with all their computer games, etc. and to sleep in their own beds.

I can't tell you the fun I had with them.

..................

Also today I spoke to one of my Aunts and her daughter.

My Uncle had passed away on Thursday evening.

He was 80. My Aunt had been in the hospital with us when my

Dad died. She was very pleased to hear from me,

and well we had a good cry then, and then I talked to my cousin

and we had a very good talk, of course with some tears too.

I showed very good restraint today, I wanted to eat oh yes I did.

But I did not, I pulled myself together and had to redo my

makeup and off we went to my MIL's  85 birthday.

There was about 25 of us,

Her five sons and one daughter were all together,

We had a wonderful time,

I had the best barbecued salmon I had ever tasted.

Everyone there was amazed at my energy level

and how much better I look since my operations.

The oldest one there at the party was our 92 year old Uncle,

one of the nicest men you will ever meet.

It was nice today to be around family,

things in life happen and somehow we have

no choice but to deal with things.

We are all responsible for our own life, how we embrace each day,

each hurdle, each phase. I used to question why do things happen, etc.

Obviously someone knows that answer, our higher power.

That higher power gave me the strength to  enjoy the day,

to be there for others and to know I was surrounded by love.

May we all remember what is really important.

We all have our different things in our lives,

today for me I did not worry about my size,

I thought of my health and how possibilities are opening all around me

as I gain some strength. I am exactly how I was meant to be today

Present and open to others.

I could have stayed in bed and cried,

Life is so fleeting I don't have time for such days.

I could wallow in past hardships that I choose to look at

as learning experiences, through each chapter of our lives

we become more of everything.

I hope you had your very best of days.

Sorry for being so long winded,

we all deserve to enjoy our lives.

Stay well my friends, until next time,

Cinner

New Discovery Sounds Trigger My Bad Eating!

Hi Everyone, thank you for the wonderful comments

on the last post, I finally got a chance to answer back to each one,

so thank you for your understanding.

I realized something new about myself today,

I knew I liked food because of visual presentation,

And there are certain smells that can be so tempting.

Today I realized that sounds trigger me into thinking of certain foods.

Bees buzzing in my garden makes me think of honey

and then peanut butter and honey sandwiches.

How silly is that.

I live in a city where I hardly ever hear the whistle of a train,

Tonight because of the way the wind was blowing

I thought of the farm where I grew up

and one of the favorite treats were

fresh homemade buns with butter and jam.

How do you go from a whistle blowing to that.

Birds singing in the morning makes me

want a morning coffee with creamer.

The sixties music makes me want Root beer and a Burger.

Now I am not saying always but it was surprising for me

to realize the correlation between the two.

Every evening at 530 the ice cream truck goes by.

playing the music that sounds like a fair,

and though I can't see the truck I automatically

start thinking ice cream and even cotton candy.

Batter out strike three

makes me want a hot dog.

Running the tub for a long bath

makes me want a glass of wine.

The sound of coughing and sneezing makes

me crave chicken noodle soup.

The sound of a crackling fire makes me want to

have marshmallows even though I don't

really like marshmallows.

The crack of a beer can being opened

makes me want to eat pizza.

and it is not my beer being cracked open.

The sound of an angry voice not even directed at me

makes me want some comfort food.

The sound of different accents

makes me crave certain foods.

I must be either a nut bar or a food addict.

Thank goodness when I turn on my treadmill

and I hear the beep, beep,

it makes me want to exercise.

Ha maybe I need to start wearing ear plugs for sounds that trigger me,

A really dark pair of glasses so I won't find food visually appealing.

Well I may as well get a noseclip so I can not smell any lovely aromas

Oh and I should wear gloves so that I won't be able to touch food either

although I don't think that really triggers me, unless I were to put a finger

in say mashed potatoes, yes you could not hold me back

and the shouting of encouraging voices saying

Cinner, no, no don't do it

hopefully would snap me back to reality

where hopefully I could pick up my dignity that has fallen

flashing its feet on the floor.

Egads do you think I woke up hungry?

I am starting to think so.

I will try to go back to bed but I know when that alarm

rings in the morning hubby better be out of the way

or a Cinner with dark glasses, wearing gloves,

a nose clip and one ear plug

will hit the floor running and when that fridge door

opens anything is game. It is a good thing I got my food

ready for tomorrow, it is also a good thing I can't drive

or I would be in line at Tim Hortons for a  Breakfast Baget,

a double double, oh and well just throw in a box of Tim Bits.

Just kidding I am going to stick to plan,

I am going to do everything I can to.

My nephews are leaving Friday

and I know when we say Good bye,

I will want to eat something right away.

Maybe it is a good thing that I am aware of what I do.

It is up to me to change my Triggers and to 

break my habits

So if you see me in line somewhere don't honk

that may make me think

I have quacked up.

I know this too shall pass.

Have a great day.

Do you have trigger sounds.

I would love to hear your stories.

Another day at the Castle.

So glad my sister and her boys are coming today.

Eating has been off the last few days.

I know better, no excuses.

I looked in the mirror this morning

and I thought sheesh there is another one of my chins.

One that I had lost. So it is a new day to keep going,

keep doing, but just to do it better.

Tired today, thundered and lightning all night last night

again and still raining.

The next three days are supposed to be nice.

So here is hoping, and hoping that you are

having your very best of days.

take care,

Cinner

I Feel Great Days Are Ahead.

Good morning,

I can't believe half of the month is almost gone.

Things I have noticed,

my feet are not as swollen,

I seem to have more energy,

I can stay up a bit longer,

I don't feel as lethargic

because of all the fruit and vegetables

I have been eating.

and suddenly I can not get enough

water.

My clothes are fitting better,

I got a new short short hairstyle

so even my head looks smaller

and my clothes are fitting better too.

This has been a strange time for me

and with it has brought a decreased appetite.

I have to say Yeah for that.

I have my preop  this morning at 830

and then next Tuesday the operations.

They were able to coincide both together,

I feel like I am getting an overhaul.

They are removing the right ovary,

will check for Cancer, and then depending on that

they will take the left ovary and the uterus.

so this has been weighing heavily on my head,

I never had any children so I guess they may

as well take these parts as they have not

done me any good. lol.

Maybe this is more info than necessary.

but I am being positive and feel like all will be okay.

Once that is done then the hernia will be fixed,

and a fluid sack that has been looking more and more

like a basketball every day.

I guess my Grandma had one and it was 23 pounds.

Am I crazy to hope my is about 30 pounds.

Funny thing is I feel better this past week

than I have in a while, almost like a peaceful place

is hanging over my head.

This morning when I let the dogs outside,

it was raining and everything smelled so fresh.

looks like hubbys ball game is cancelled tonight,

so maybe we will go out for supper.

Will see how much energy I have left after today.

So that is what has been going on around here,

I know I am in good hands, I know I am loved,

so all is great.

I hope you have your Best Day Ever.

It is what you make it.

Thinking of you all, picturing you working out,

eating well so we all get the lifestyle

that we really want.

I want to experience all in life,

I hold it in the palm of my hand,

It is mine to mold as I like.

Anything and everything is possible.

Until next time,

Cinner

I Will sit in a corner, and just suck my thumb, omg

The last few days have been flying by.

I have to say I feel like my head has been through a bug zapper.

No not that bad.....

This was a conversation I had with a receptionist....

ME...Hi it is Cinner ---- I was wondering if Dr..SO and So is in on Tuesday.

HER; let me look, who is your doctor, what is my name.

ME; Tell her my Dr. So and So, tell and spell my name.

HER; yes he is in that day,, what time would you like.

Me; Is one and one fifteen available?

Her: Yes, okay just give me a minute.

ME; no problem,

HER. Okay I have you booked for Tuesday morning,

ME, no I need the one and one fifteen appointment please.

HER, okay I have you in for one and one fifteen.

ME. Perfect, I will see you on Tuesday, Thank you.

HER, Thank you, see you then.....

........

okay so not too bad right,

Saturday morning I get a phone call asking me why I had double booked

our appointments. I explained it had been a mistake made by the other lady

I had talked to, I explained that I only needed the one oclock and the one fifteen,

HER;;;oh oh okay, well I will cancel the 9  ad 9 fifteen, can you hold please.

Me; no problem.

HER. Okay so we will see you Tuesday at one and one fifteen 

with Dr. XYZ.

ME,. My appointment was supposed to be with my

family doctor So and So.

.....

are you ready for this?

HER. Your doctor is not in on Tuesday.

By all that is holy I have no idea how I did not come unglued at the seams.

I said, I was told he would be in and I need to see him before

my surgeries that are supposed to be at the end of the month.

HER...oh well then you will need to book a preop appointment

and that will be longer.

I said okay when is my Doctor in,

well he is in but not until the 13th.

Okay I will book the appointment.

HER; What is your number on the form,

ME; What form?

HER..Your preop form.

I don't have the form, My doctor had asked me to call

and see him about my visit to the surgeons office.

.................

HER, I am sorry you can only see your

doctor for one thing at a time.

ME, 100, 99, 98, 97......1, then I proceed to say

Please just put me down for followup..

HER...Oh yeah that will work,

ME, Great that will be good,

HER. What was your name again?

I can not even tell you what was going through 

my head at this point,

I can not even type it because

I think my computer

would blow up

...................

Now I know I have been trying really really hard,

I snorfed down 2 pieces of rhubarb pie before

I could even think about it....

but then I refrained from eating the whole pie.

I was just feeling so frustrated,

obviously an emotional eater.

But good thinks come to those who wait,

the next morning I had a phone call from the hospital

and everything just fell into place like it should.

Surgery is booked,

In two weeks I should be good as new.

One catch.

I still have to go see my Doctor

next Monday,

and I can't remember the time,

I kid you not.

I think I will get my Hubby to check.

It was so ridiculous we did have a good laugh

when I was telling him about it,

sorry this was so long winded,

I needed to get this off

my chest.

Take care and thank you all for your 

kind comments on my last post.

Until next time,

Cinner

Beware of Strong Emotions!

Hey there it's the cat,

I am not too popular today,

Cinner was sitting at the table cutting up steak

for her supper. I had dropped a ball of yarn on the table

earlier. I was sitting on the stool, she threw the wool and I leaped off

the stool, to hear a great big bang behind me.

Ooopss I had knocked the stool over.

The noise was incredible.

I guess I startled Cinner because she had one of those

Cataplexy Spells. It was different this time, she did not fall to the floor,

but she could not regain her speech for quite a while.

I jumped up and ate a bunch of the steak,

well it was not like she could give me heck

and after these spells she gets very tired,

so she sure would not be chasing me around the house.

She has not had one of these spells for quite a while,

they are a little scary for her as I saw some tears in her eyes

Mr. Cinner came home and saved the day.

The stools from their new table set has some kind of string in the bottom

of the seat in the stools, so when it fell over,

it did sound like a gunshot.

Anyway now that she knows that can happen,

she won't be surprised next time.

Cataplexy is triggered by strong emotions,

being startled, laughter, excitement, anger, etc.

I think it is much easier being a cat.

It all worked out okay though,

I had steak that was pretty good,

Cinner had a long sleep, and I laid beside her

so she could listen to me purr.

..................

Other than that it was an uneventful day.

Here is something that may be of some interest to you.

It may give you a better understanding of how it is to live with this condition.

take care,

the cat

Lock Up your Kitchens!

Hi everyone. I am sorry for not being around,

My sister came and stayed with me for a few days,

and then on the weekend I finally got my yard work all done.

I have found it very difficult this year with my hernia, etc.

Just over three weeks and I should be ship shape again.

Did I say I am looking forward to it, oh yes I am.

The puppy has been keeping me on my toes.

and I have to report that my clothes are fitting a bit better,

actually a lot better. I fall into bed at night exhausted,

but a good exhausted.

...............

Today I woke up

wanting to eat everything in my house,

and then pop by all of yours to finish it off.

I have eaten healthy,

not giving in to the feelings I have today on missing my Dad.

It is two years ago that he passed away.

He is also the reason I did not give in to my eating triggers today.

I used to think that when someone dies,

your love for them would not continue to grow,

but it does everyday.

I wrote more about him on my other blog today.

miss you and love you lots Dad.

..........

My Dad had diabetes, had five artery bypass and then seven

years later went into the hospital to have hip surgery

and passed away of heart issues. You know it was sudden

and then in other ways, the warning signs were there.

I often ask myself how many warning signs do we get

when we make that ultimate decision

that life is a one shot deal.

I am choosing to make the most of mine,

so no need to lock your doors,

I won't be visiting your kitchens today!

Hope you are all well and 

living your best Day ever.

Take care,

Cinner

Lifestyle Warriors

How are My Lifestyle Warriors Doing?

Have you had some Fresh Air today?

Sometimes just opening a Window can change your whole mood,

maybe not if you live by a garbage dump,

but if you can it is a good idea.

My house is 99 years old

and I find the air can be stale in here,

so on a daily basis my windows are opened,

it makes me feel alive,

gets the good mood flowing,

beckons me outdoors,

usually for a walk first thing in the morning,

the sun was shining today.

There are so many places to go walking here in the city,

parks and bike trails, side streets, down by the river,,

there is always somewhere that you can find that you feel

is your special place.

Maybe you can only make it to the bench in the park at the end of the block.

How lucky we are that we can get out and live.

I really mean this.

I can't move fast, but I can go faster than yesterday,

That is progress,

I can drink more water than yesterday,

I have my meals prepared ahead of time today,

so I am not tempted to grab anything I should not.

Did you prepare for your life today.

Start by looking in the mirror, tell yourself

you are worth it, you deserve, and you are going to achieve it.

One moment at a time, celebrate each win,

celebrate a feeling of lighter on your feet,

a better attitude, excitement for the day,

laughter, great healthy food, water,

exercising, clothes fitting better, rewarding yourself with non food.

Smiling, just do, don't quit, keep going, 

Whatever it takes.

Now is never too late to start, or now is never too late to start again.

Right now, is all that matters, This very minute.

I can do this, so can you.

Have a great weekend,

and 

thank you to all of you whom encourage me every day.

Remember you are never alone.

Sun to Shine.

As undecided as I am, so seems the sun.

It shines, it hides,

it graces me with an hour here or there,

teasing me, tempting me,

not quite dedicated to stick to plan,

but then surprising me as the heat from the rays,

seem to put my plan back in motion.

Renewed ummmph to prioritize

so that I too can shine.

............

Hope you are having a great weekend.

Until next time.

                                                                                Cinner

Some Soul Searching.

I am back, I had a lovely time at my sisters wedding,

She was so beautiful,

you can view some wedding photos on my other blog on the sidebar.

I have come back home with a renewed sense of energy, it was a much

needed time away where I could reflect on some of  lifes issues.

I have also taken a look why I started this blog,

it was to help me get healthier, not to be worried by numbers,

or how good or bad I was doing in comparison to others.

Am I eating Healthy......yes

Am I exercising........yes

Do I like myself.......yes

And I am brought back to the fact that I am me and am grateful for who I am,

I am at peace in my mind and loving in my heart, and that is the most important thing to me,

To be a good person,  to be patient and understanding.

my weight does not define whom I am, the loss of weight will help me live a more

active life style, that is for sure.

So lifestyle remains a focus, I remain me as I am this size or any other,

I do not apologize for being compassionate and understanding.

I have learned a lesson, only I can choose how I react to 

what I percieve to be negativity or anger,  and for that reason I

will continue to live Each Day As Best As I Can.

I am strong, I am Proud, and I am staying away from any stress  in my life.

Why, Simply Because I have the right to.

Because Life is About Choices and Control.

I am only in control of me and what I choose to write on my blog, and everything pertaining to my life.

..................

Have I had an easy life, no I don't think so, Have I Much to be Grateful for.

Absolutely! So onward and forward believing in me.

Yes I Can Do It, I am not a Quitter.

Until next time I hope you are having

Your Very Best Day.

Stop Bullying the Cat

well winter is still here, although the days are starting to get warmer.

My husband was off yesterday and we went for a nice long walk,

well a long walk in my terms, and then he took the dog for a run.

When you have an illness you have to work within those limitations,

gradually improving  little by little until suddenly you notice a change in lifestyle.

today I am getting ready for the wedding on the weekend.

My sister is so excited, she is going to be so beautiful.

I will be taking pictures for sure, actually I am doing the wedding photos.

Hubby will be helping if My Cataplexy slows me down at all that day.

So as family is gathering I may not be around for a bit.

Lots to do, lots of laughs ahead.

..................

I wish all of you that are undergoing tests the very best possible outcomes.

...............

My dog is turning into a big bully, chasing the cat,

I swear wants to have her for lunch.

they both need to get outside.

........we are all feeling a little housebound.

I am going to exercise, I need to refocus, and continue

on. I hope you have a great day, Stay Strong!

I Have To Admit

I Have To Admit

today with a strong wind I could topple right over,

be gentle with me whispering wind.

I Have To Admit

today I feel every ache and pain,

I could cry tears like the Tsunami in Japan.

I Have To Admit

today I am as unsure as the weather.

..................

What an Opportunity!

What an Opportunity

to live in a world where we are free to make choices.

Choices to choose our destinies,

The choice to do better, be healthier, to be kinder to oneself,

the choice to not self sabotage your goals and your dreams,

the choice to love yourself unconditionally,

What an opportunity we have that we can make the choice

to lose weight or live a healthier lifestyle,

Life is not about a one time deal, or a one time chance.

It's like if you try roller skating and you fall,

well you can either stay down or you can get back up.

We have the opportunity of living to our fullest,

the best life right now today.

I am not wasting a moment because I am overweight,

or unhealthy, or short legged, thinning hair,

age spots from the sun,

not one moment will I waste

thinking that when I am thinner

life will be so much more worth living.

You know life is a gift,

we can open the package or wait until some rainy day down the road

when you feel like you want to face things.

My fact is I am obese, I am using every day as an opportunity to change that,

only by loving myself can that happen at least for me.

LIFE is worth fighting for.

That happened to me eight years ago.

Once I got passed being scared for myself,

and over anger that comes along,

In life there are no quick fixes,

we don't wake in the morning

and poof the weight is gone.

But we wake up with the opportunity

to choose and work hard at what we want.

I hope you have a great weekend,

live your very best life right now.

remember you are deserving, beautiful, and right now today

you are perfect. Imagine what you can accomplish by believing in yourself.

The opportunity is ours for the taking.

What a wonderful world

Be well.

Picture above from webster images I believe.

It is not my picture so I take no credit for it.

My Life Changing Victories

"The more you lose yourself in something bigger than yourself, the more energy you will have."

Norman Vincent Peale

My Little Victories

I realized yesterday that I have made some major progress in the last year.

The first of which was kicking my boyfriend Stanley to the curb.

For those of you whom don't know my boyfriend Stanley....

well Stanley is a cane, so now Stanley stands in a corner.

I have not had the pleasure of Stanley's company all of this year.

So that is major for me.

Secondly is that I feel stronger

both mentally and physically.

The purchase of my treadmill has helped gain strength in my legs,

and mentally how I feel after I have walked can make the outlook on the day

very positive. I can be drop dead tired, walk for even ten minutes,

and I feel recharged, instantly have more energy,

so I am not spending as much time sitting on my couch

limited by my condition Cataplexy.

I will always have to have naps to control this,

however instead of 3 hour naps every 3 hours,

now I need about one hour every 3 hours,

so that is major in the year.

So because of this I am awake more now

than I have been in eight years.

Lets face it you can't accomplish much if you are sleeping most of the time.

My word for 2011 is Control.

I decided that I needed to take control of my illness as much as I could,

and to not let it control me. 

My illness does not define me, nor does my weight.

I guess I started to really live again by putting the effort  into my own life,

redefining whom I am and living within my limitations of the illness.

One of the main goals for myself in my Lifestyle Journey

was realizing how much I need to stay on a schedule.

A schedule for meals, for sleeping, for exercising,

for visiting, for outings, etc.

Control the situation.

My clothes have been fitting looser.

I am not getting on the scale until after my surgeries

for my hernia and large stomach cyst

which still may be two months away.

I am increasing my exercise regime

and can hardly wait to see the changes in myself

in even three months.

We all have our own reasons for losing weight,

mine was because so much was happening to my body

that I could not change....see Cataplexy.

I wanted to do everything I possibly could to help me

take care of what I have realized is the best gift I have ever recieved,

sad that I had taken it for granted that it would just keep functioning at 100%.

because why ....it is so hard to get away from the idea that

nothing will ever happen to me.

Well it can, it does and it will

if we take our health for granted.

I am on the biggest fight of my life,

I am worth all my efforts every day.

There is that saying that all good things come to those who wait,

I have changed that to all good things come to those who work hard to be their best.

I may fall down and come a little short on some days,

but I pick myself back up, shake off the cobwebs and keep going.

It is not all consuming,

It is about me choosing

to live a better life.

...............

Words to kick to the curb today.

I'm tired, can't, it hurt's, I don't feel like it,

I don't have time.

.........................

Be positive,

attitude is everything,

and don't ever quit.

...........

I hope you have your 

best day ever.

Feel good and remember

you matter.

Be well.

Cinner