Almost Did Not Make It, Spring Vanished, Winter has appeared again.

The other day the sun was shining,

it felt like Spring and I felt like soon the flowers would be blooming.

Yesterday we got hit hard by a snowstorm.

Yes Winter is Back.

I had my Emotional Eating Group last night.

It was the last class and I was a little sad that it was coming to an end.

I called a Taxi at 5 oclock, and it did not arrive until 6 o'clock

because of the roads and they were so behind.

So I was late to the class, but I made it.

I had a lovely talk with the Taxi driver too.

He was from Aftrica  and had lived in Italy

and now here.

He said he loved Canada,

but not the snow, and not the drivers

when it is snowing.

We actually were almost hit by another vehicle.

I know there was lots of accidents yesterday.

I was grateful I made it to the meeting

and wished him a safe evening.

........

The class went well and we just strategized

how to continue on

to be successful on our individual journeys.

How to stay on track, etc.

It is surprising how close some of us

had become, and we plan to continue

to get together on our own.

It was a very positive experience,

and one of the best things I have ever done for me.

I am glad I finally had the courage to do this

and to admit that I needed some help

with the Emotional Eating.

I would highly reccomend  this type of forum

for others if  they had the opportunity.

Must go for now and make some

breakfast.

.......

my sisters boys are coming to stay

with us for five days,

I am so excited,

they arrive tomorrow.

Have a great weekend.

I hope you have your

Very Best Days!

Cinner

Pieces Falling Into Place

So sometimes all the pieces just seem to fall into place,

I had been struggling this week feeling kind of blah

because I was sleeping so much,

I just did not have a lot of energy.

So I felt like all I was doing was eating and sleeping.

I had my weigh in at my meeting tonight.

I was thrilled to see I am down 5 more pounds since

last weigh in.

I have been making some very good choices.

I don't think of this as a diet,

it is just my new lifestyle.

What works for me is eating six times a day,

3 meals, 3 snacks.

I have hardly had more than 2 slices of brown bread a week,

If bread or buns were in my house before

I was all over them.

Another change has been very little processed food.

I actually have noticed that I am starting to crave salads,

Whom ever thought that would happen, not me.

Hubby came home with Chinese food last night.

He had 4 dishes, only one was veggies.

I asked him if he minded if I just ate that one.

And that is what I did, I had one bite of the rest of the dishes

and was satisfied.....Now that is a first for me.

It has been one of my trigger foods all my life.

......

Also today was the first time this year

that I did not use my cane,

What a good feeling that was.

Clothes are fitting better.

I am finding new strength in making better choices.

.............

Example of what I have been eating for a day.

Breakfast yogurt, fibre one, fruit, almonds fits in a small soup bowl

snack apple with 2 tbsp of peanut butter

Lunch, tossed salad about half a plate, 2 slices cheese, 12 almonds, about 10 croutons

and 2 dill pickles

Snack celery, 2 tnsp of  peanut butter

Dinner salad same as lunch, about one cup cooked veg,

one chicken breast

Snack before bed 1 glass of milk

3 arrowroot cookies.

I drink 8 glasses of water

1 coffee with milk and 1 sugar.

.............

Anyway I just wanted you to see that I am

not starving myself

I hope you are doing well.

Until next time,

Cinner 

I have so appreciated all your comments.

I am away from the computer for a few days 

but will reply then.

Thanks for understanding.

Just Sailing Along.

Hi Everyone,

Life is Sailing along at a fast pace around here.

I have been busy with appointments,

meetings and life, as well as getting enough sleep

for someone whom has Cataplexy.

Some days there are just not enough hours for me.

I am reminded that everyone has the same 24 hours in a

day to deal with and am amazed at people like

Mother Theresa whom made the most of every day

and look at all she accomplished.

There are many others like her.

I have been making progress towards my goal.

I am down 20 pounds for the year.

I am getting out of the house more,

I have made some new friends,

I went out all by myself this past week.

I am trying to get over the fear of falling,

or the fear of what ifs with my illness.

It was a major step for me to take a cab

yesterday. I had my paper in my pocket

explaining my illness and I am going to get

a medic bracelet. It was the first time

without any family around me,

so I have to admit that safe feeling

was not there, but I have to face my fears.

I think that is the only way I can grow as a person.

We had more snow this week,

it was kind of nice to have things

looking white again,

reminding me how lucky

I am to live in a region

where I get to experience all the seasons.

I have a new neighbor next door to us

and bless his heart but he shoveled the walk

this morning. I would have done it myself later,

I thanked him and what he did in five minutes

would have taken me at least a half hour.

So that was a nice way to start the day.

I hope you are all doing great

and I wish you all a very

Happy Weekend.

Until next time,

Cinner

pic by Kelsey H

Don't Believe Everything You Think.

via pinterest

One of the things I have really been focusing

on lately is positive versus negative thinking.

Now I think I am a pretty positive person

about life, about myself.

I believe in living your best days etc.

But when I really get down to things,

some of my distortive thinking

has been that I am broken

since I got my illness,

just that I am not capable of doing what I used to.

Another one has been my not being able to

have children, that somehow I was not

whole, I was broken.

I realize that when one has these thoughts,

that it is going to impact everything.

I think one can only hide behind their strength

for so long, and sooner or later you have

to deal with the so called crap in our lives.

When one has an invisible illness,

you encounter all kinds of doubt,

unfortunately a lot of people

believe your overweight,

nothing wrong with her, she is just fat and lazy.....

So there are a few of my distorted thoughts.

so I have learned this.

SO WHAT.

Example if I think someone thinks that I am fat and lazy,

that is my perception. I am not a mind reader,

and if they really do think that,

I have a choice to let that effect me or not..

So if someone thinks it or glances at you wrong,

We can go from zero to 360 about rudenes,

bottom line is So What, does their opinion matter,

The validation does not need to come from someone

else, because we have to believe in ourselves.

I am losing this weight for me,

for me, for nobody else,

I don't need to be told I look okay,

I need to know that within myself.

So out with any negative,

too much time and energy

is wasted on the what ifs

in life.

I like me and I am learning to

love me.

I keep hearing from the movie help

You is kind,

You is beautiful,

you is important.

On Monday I had three appointments

and all are very happy with my progress

in one month is seventeen pounds lost,

more energy, keeping goals,

more confidence, changed how I am eating,

I am controlling the food, the food no longer

controls me...

I am off to a good start.

I hope you all have a Very Good Day!

Until next time,

Cinner

I am being kinder to myself.

Well yesterday was weigh in day,

and I am down another 4 pounds

which makes a total of 12 pounds for the first month

of my program.

I was thrilled although a part of me

wants it to be more,,,,

How silly is that, but you see I am used to going

on crazy diets where I would lose and then gain it all

back and plus more.

This is the first time that I have been 

diligent about  it every day!

One of the things I have been learning is that

my justifications of well just this one time,

or putting off until tomorrow what

I should be doing today

is not the right attitude to get

the job done so to speak.

It is amazing to me how many times a day

I stop myself from falling into my old habits,

The good thing is that I am stopping them,

That and any negative thoughts.

I am the one that has to take care of me.

It is my choice, my decision to stick to this

so I can benefit from my actions.

I Don't have a goal weight,

I have a goal of getting as healthy as I can be.

I have a goal of living my life to the fullest.

I have a goal of skydiving when I turn 50,

and today I am positive I will  do this.

Have a great weekend.

Until next time,

Cinner

Scary Jarry and the Scale Debate!

Hi Everyone,

Here is a picture of a BlueJay

that visits me every year.

He has nothing to do with my post,

other than he annoys me sometimes

with his demand for peanuts.

I call him Scary Jarry

because he will actually dive bomb me

if I don't have any out for him.

So when Scary Jarry and the other 3 show up

they screech and screech until I put out the peanuts.

I love that they come to my yard for a visit

and only Scary Jarry has eaten out of my hand.

..............

Anyway back to my meeting.

Weigh In Time

I went in feeling like I must be down another

ten pounds.

I felt that good, clothes have been fitting bigger,

I have been eating so healthy, making good choices

and the scale was down 1.5 pounds,

Now I know down is still good,

but I just felt annoyed that it was not more.

So in the meeting we are asked how we are feeling,

and I say "Well I came in here feeling Whoo Hoooo

and now because of the Scale

I am feeling dissapointed,

I continued to say Logic tells me I am still doing good

but I hate the scale, I hate getting on it and having

the numbers on it break or make my day. I then told them my husband has

hidden mine in the house because I become so obsessive about it.

To the point I get on it, I gasp, it must be wrong,

I get off it, then I tip toe back on it, what up another pound,

so then I go for round three, same as the first,

For the Love of God.....lol

..........

So what does the instructor say,

Fabulous topic for tonight.

I left the meeting at the end

knowing that it is just an indication as to whether we are doing good or not,

that by me stepping on the scale and not being happy about it,

that I slipped right into sabatoge mode,

The all or nothing, ready to throw the towel in,

not taking into account how good I was feeling,

that I have exercised more,

that clothes were fitting better,

that I could walk further and that this week

I did not have to use my cane.

Also we were informed about stress,

that sometimes that can make you not lose as

fast as you want,

I said I have nothing to be stressed about,

and was told does not mean you are not,

Well by the time I left the meeting,

I realized I am stressed,

that I find it very hard to be at home

most of the time due to my illness,

I joked that I better not step on the scale on the

way out because I had probably just put on ten pounds.

One of the ladies did get on the scale and she

had put on 2 pounds, she just laughed.

I said I don't dare get on it or I will be headed for

McDonalds.

..................

The good news is is that I am sticking to my

program, I have not thrown in the towel,

I have not turned to bread for comfort,

I have walked more on my treadmill over

the weekend than I have in a long time,

and I have been drinking more water.

Thanks for all the comments that have helped

me with that.

................

Do you have an issue with the scale making

or breaking your day.

I would love to hear your comments on it.

Have a great week everyone,

Until next time,

Cinner

No Longer Putting It off Until Monday!

So In My struggles with Weight Loss

I usually have been an all or nothing girl,

meaning if I do really really good,

and then cheat, I don't just cheat a little,

I am going to cheat and in a big way,

Meaning well I had a bag of chips,

oh what the heck you may as well finish off

the other  bag too and get them out of the house.

Other things I have done is

put off dieting until a new week,

So if it is Tuesday and I have made some bad

decisions, I can justify starting new again

the following Monday, so anything goes

in the meantime.

When I was working new projects usually

started on a Monday too.

And well Friday night if I was going out

and went off my diet, well what the heck

may as well start again on Monday.

.........

These are the kind of things that are not easy to admit to,

You even talk yourself out of it, "Oh no I don't do that."

Now it even sounds ridiculous to know that I can

just sit and eat mindlessly.

One of the problems in my household

is that only when we get company

do we eat at our kitchen table.

It has been a topic of discussion

as our family growing up we had meal time

three times a day,

whereas in our home we tend to grab something

and sit in front of the T.V. while watching sports, etc.

Since I have confronted my Emotional Eating,

I am now eating six times a day at the kitchen table.

At first eating six times a day seemed outrageous to me.

When you journal your food it looks like a lot,

but it is working. I am becoming very aware of

what is good for me, and learning portion control,

counting calories etc., and as I stick to this schedule,

I no longer am eating mindlessly,

I no longer walk by the fridge and grab something

because I may be bored or lonely,

so it is not just something to do anymore.

The set times throughout the day is helping 

speed up my metabolism again.

Before I would usually not eat until supper,

and because unknowingly to me I had starved my

body all day then the overeating in the evening

was right out of hand.

So I am learning, I have a great support system

around me, I have the right food in the house,

Nothing comes easy in life,

so I am prepared for all the hard work

that lies ahead of me.

.......

"The healthy, the strong individual is the one who asks

for help when he/she needs it.

Whether he/she  has an abscess

on the knee or the soul.". by Rona Barrett

....

I am lucky that there is a program in my area

where I can use the resources available to me.

Wishing you good luck with your day,

We are all worth it,

Until next time,

Cinner